Six Tips for Remembering Names

“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

I oftentimes find it humorous that I have developed this passion for names because I usually have such a hard time remembering them. I’m not selective in my lack of memory either; I forget everyone’s (and everything’s) name. That includes celebrities (you know, that guy that was in that one movie?), place names (we should go to the science center in the city that has the arch), people I know (what’s her name?), and more. What’s worse is that I’m plagued with this keen ability to remember faces. It’s cruel because if I didn’t remember faces so well then I wouldn’t be reminded of how frequently I’m not remembering their names. And finally, to add insult to injury, I seem to be able to remember both faces and names of people I knew from elementary school or some other period of time in my life that has no bearing on my life today. Hey, there’s Jason Stathem – I haven’t seen him since kindergarten!

I had to face this impediment early on in my decision to begin writing a book on names. How could I be listed as an “expert on names” when I couldn’t even remember them? Well, the good news is, there are ways to improve your memory when it comes to names. I’ve begun using some of these and they have helped me tremendously. They can help you too!

1. Make it a Point to Remember Names. Chris Witt, author of the book, “Real Leaders Don’t Do Powerpoints: How to Sell Yourself and Your Ideas” says, “One of the best ways to make a favorable first impression — and to get ahead socially or in business — is to remember people’s names.” Mr. Witt suggests that you should commit to remembering people’s names. This means before you even arrive at your friend’s party you will remind yourself, “I will make my best effort to remember the names of the people I meet.”
2. Free Associate. There are often memorable aspects about a person that can help you remember their names. The Mind Tools Web site encourages you to pay attention to the person’s face to study any unique features. They suggest creating “an association between that characteristic, the face, and the name in your mind.” For example, this person may share a characteristic with someone else you know. Somehow create an association between the person you’re just now meeting and the other person you know.  These kinds of techniques can help you file that name in a more memorable (and retrievable) place.
3. Focus. Are you really paying attention to how that person is responding to your question? If you’re like me, it’s easy to be distracted by other things going on in the room and forget to actually listen. And I really love names so I have no excuse for not keying in on a person’s name. I think it’s a little like playing golf. If you hit the drive and it shanks to the left, do you make yourself wait and watch exactly where that ball lands? Look for landmarks to help guide you when you get there? Or do you see the general direction the ball is headed to and turn around to start looking for the next club you’re going to use? If you ask someone, “What’s your name?” then stay focused until you hear them say it.
4. Rinse and Repeat. Once that person says their name, repeat it. Even if it is a common name like John. Say it out loud and then to yourself several times. Then be sure to use their name as part of the discussion too. As Mr. Carnegie mentions above, people love the sound of the their name so you should use it in your conversation with them. Of course, you don’t want to sound like a used car salesman either, so don’t overdo it!
5. Have a Little Faith. Now that you’ve got some tips to help you improve your name skills, it’s time to let go of the old label. You know, the one where you say, “I’m awful at names!” According to a post by Think Simple Now, we can land ourselves square in the middle of a self-fulfilling prophecy by not only believing this about ourselves, but letting it define part of who we are. According to the author, Tina Su, “By relying on this story we’ve created, we instantly forget people’s names the moment we hear it, without even trying, because we are ‘horrible at names.’”
6. Don’t be Shy. The next time you see a new acquaintance go up and try saying their name. If you just can’t remember, ask them. Most people understand and are happy to tell you again. Usually you’ll get it down after the second time anyway.

Try these tips the next time you meet someone new. It may take a little practice and you won’t get it perfect every time, but that’s ok. With your new skills in hand you can now tell yourself that you’re great at remembering names!