I read about the word “eudaemonic” today in Victoria Moran’s book Living a Charmed Life. Chapter 40 is called “Consider Yourself Lucky.” If I could summarize Victoria’s recommendations it’s that if you look for the luck in your life, you pave the way for luck to find you. She suggests that one way of doing this is to make a daily habit of counting the number of happy-making moments that occurred in the last 24 hours.
If you don’t believe there is a word for everything, you might now. Eudaemonic is an adjective that means being conducive to happiness. I don’t know about you, but I want that word used to describe me! I know I’m not always successful at it, but I’m working on it.
A group of physics students from the University of California, Santa Cruz called themselves Eudaemons, but their version of happy making came with a twist. Thomas A. Bass wrote a book called The Eudaemonic Pie describing how the Eudaemons developed a clever way to increase their odds of winning at casino roulette tables by nearly 50%.
That sounds a little too risky for my taste, but there are better (and less illegal) ways you can become a Eudaemonist. Aristotle first inspired the idea of a Eudaemonist group and suggested they are “individuals who strive to excel at their talents, who seek happiness through rational pursuits, and who value the ability for all intelligent beings to share in their pursuit of happiness.”
Victoria Moran says you can achieve this lucky duck status in your life. One way of doing it she says is to “claim your own luck, be thankful for it, and pass it on via your example and your generosity.” Today’s word is Eudaemonic. A great word to live by!![]()
Hey Marly, I’m going to vent here in a minute (smile). I want to be eudaemonic. I do! But how do I do it when people are so difficult? I’m serious here though it may sound like I’m joking.
For example, I had to go and meet a good friend of mine’s new girlfriend. I had been putting it off for a while due to my own social anxiety along with obnoxious descriptions of her by many a different people. Turns out, she is so jealous and competitive just like everyone described. In addition, she is super arrogant and haughty, which caught me off guard though I think I handled it pretty well. How do I be generous as Victoria Moran states when I just feel like I can’t stand this person. I want to be forgiving and therefore eudaemonic, but it’s hard!
I’m assuming we’re supposed to try to be eudaemonic with all people, so how? Please tell me (smile but seriously)…!
May 20, 2010
2:36 pm
Great word indeed! I wish I was more eudaemonic too, and fight my natural cynical and depressive tendencies daily. However, I see a great deal of value in the practice of looking for luck (or love or happiness) and I’m sure it makes it easier to find you.
As far as Stella’s dilemma – you can’t control other people, only yourself. I hardly ever get frustrated with people anymore because my internal dialogue is very unconcerned with them and their issues. I haven’t reached the point where I’m always compassionate, but they really don’t bother me. It’s simply realizing that nothing matters except your reaction to it.
May 20, 2010
4:03 pm
Stella – I think being happy means giving yourself permission to avoid people like that. Sometimes you have to be around those kinds of folks and if that’s the case, then I probably would try to do what Tatiana recommends and try not to let her push your buttons. The thing is, you can’t change someone like that. So to me being happy means choosing who I spend my time with.
I read this recently in a quote by Martha Beck in O magazine (see link below) – we don’t have to “pretend to like people who appall” us. We’re not going to like everyone. Also, please note that in this article by Martha, she states we don’t have to always push ourselves to be happy all the time. I absolutely agree with that too. Putting too much pressure on ourselves to be smiley-face happy is not healthy. I’m going for an overall eudaemonic trend, but not expecting myself to be there 100% of the time.
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/10-Life-Lessons-You-Should-Unlearn-Martha-Beck-Life-Coach-Advice_1/2
May 21, 2010
6:46 am
Hey Marly, thanks for the in depth reply. You know, what you’re saying is exactly what I thought to myself, but then I second guessed myself. Plus, My Cauldron Boy is extremely social. I mean, he would play cards and break bread with anyone know matter how decent or indecent. So I get a lot pressure from him to be a ‘certain way’ much like you described above (pretend happy and friendly).
I need to go with my own gut, b/c, the truth is, I love other people and usually like the people I meet. So, if someone is giving me such a strong feeling, I’m going to be strong and say, “NO, I’m not spending my time with that person’! Yes! I’m going to have thick skin and give myself my own permission.
Thanks Marly, and sorry for venting. I just really related the forgiveness side of being eudaemonic with this situation.
P.S.-Your’e right about letting people push buttons too…
May 21, 2010
10:49 am
I think you did the right thing by giving this woman a chance. Just because other people said these things about her doesn’t make it true. You went for it and you learned for yourself that she’s not the kind of company you want to keep. Now it’s up to you. Listen to your intuition – sounds like you’ve got great instincts!
Hey, vent with me anytime. I’m sure I’ll have some venting back one of these days. That’s what friends are for!
May 21, 2010
2:30 pm
Great reminder of the importance of positive thinking. I’ve been having a hard weekend and this morning, I realized that I was actively preventing happiness from entering my life. By choosing to focus on the negative, I was shutting happiness out. A long walk and this post reminded me of the importance of seeking and valuing happiness. Thanks Marly!
May 23, 2010
2:20 pm
Some things are really so obvious they actually make you stop and think, and ask yourself, “Could it really be THAT simple?”
This for me is one such instance. I have this internal dialogue as Tatiana says, going, all the time, and it’s usually pretty negative and always looking out for the next thing that will go wrong! I think people who think they know me, would be shocked to hear me admit this!
But I can see the value of positive thought and it’s power to engender more and real positivity in your life. A seemingly simple tip, but one that I suspect could actually have a far reaching and surprising effect, if given a chance.
May 25, 2010
3:08 am
I’m like that too. I think I have a fairly positive veneer, but if I consider some of my internal dialog? It’s on the negative side. It’s like I’ve got this tape recorder on a loop and it has recorded those 4th grade bullies who said things like, “You’re so stupid! You’ll never figure things out! You just don’t get it!” Why couldn’t my brain have recorded better moments than that? I’m sure I must have had some positive feedback in my life too, but I seem to have a block about those. Isn’t that so strange? Why do we remember the negative more than the positive? I do find ways to talk my internal negative dialog down, but I have to work at it. I guess it keeps life interesting!
May 25, 2010
6:51 am