Squirrel Diaries Continued: An Homage

I’m trying to cover all the bases in my fight to save the fruit on my peach tree. I’m spraying them with a spicy concoction of “eu de pepper flakes parfum” and I’m pleased to report that this seems to be having some success. I check several times throughout the day – there are squirrels in my yard, but none on the peach tree.

I don’t want to rest on my laurels though. So I did some research on techniques used by ancient cultures to increase agricultural yields. Namely? Sacrifices and Offerings. The very helpful site I found described how important it was in planning your offering to find something that meets the needs of that particular deity. For example, you wouldn’t give a sword to the goddess of love.

I conjured up a squirrel god in my head and since my goal was to coax him or her to look favorably upon my plight, it seemed the best offering would be peach buds. See? I’m not selfish. I am more than willing to share these peaches with the squirrels. So, see below for my offering in both pictures and verse to the squirrel god.

Homage to Squirrels

Eyes opened or closed, there you are

Eating my peaches from near and far

Plumbs and pears, you eat them too

To get my hands on some fruit, what will I do?

Resolved for peaches I remain

(I hope this quest doesn’t drive me insane!)

I offer this gift of tender peach buds

(Ignore the fact that they’re technically duds)

From this tray I beg of you to munch

For the fruit of the tree packs a peppery punch

So if in my yard it’s you I see

That’s perfectly fine, just stay out of my tree!

I know, not necessarily Pulitzer material, but you have to start somewhere! My next step might be some kind of peach tree preservation dance, but I think I’ll have to get a little more desperate to do that.