Namely Marly

“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

I oftentimes find it humorous that I have developed this passion for names because I usually have such a hard time remembering them. I’m not selective in my lack of memory either; I forget everyone’s (and everything’s) name. That includes celebrities (you know, that guy that was in that one movie?), place names (we should go to the science center in the city that has the arch), people I know (what’s her name?), and more. What’s worse is that I’m plagued with this keen ability to remember faces. It’s cruel because if I didn’t remember faces so well then I wouldn’t be reminded of how frequently I’m not remembering their names. And finally, to add insult to injury, I seem to be able to remember both faces and names of people I knew from elementary school or some other period of time in my life that has no bearing on my life today. Hey, there’s Jason Stathem – I haven’t seen him since kindergarten!

I had to face this impediment early on in my decision to begin writing a book on names. How could I be listed as an “expert on names” when I couldn’t even remember them? Well, the good news is, there are ways to improve your memory when it comes to names. I’ve begun using some of these and they have helped me tremendously. They can help you too!

1. Make it a Point to Remember Names. Chris Witt, author of the book, “Real Leaders Don’t Do Powerpoints: How to Sell Yourself and Your Ideas” says, “One of the best ways to make a favorable first impression — and to get ahead socially or in business — is to remember people’s names.” Mr. Witt suggests that you should commit to remembering people’s names. This means before you even arrive at your friend’s party you will remind yourself, “I will make my best effort to remember the names of the people I meet.”
2. Free Associate. There are often memorable aspects about a person that can help you remember their names. The Mind Tools Web site encourages you to pay attention to the person’s face to study any unique features. They suggest creating “an association between that characteristic, the face, and the name in your mind.” For example, this person may share a characteristic with someone else you know. Somehow create an association between the person you’re just now meeting and the other person you know.  These kinds of techniques can help you file that name in a more memorable (and retrievable) place.
3. Focus. Are you really paying attention to how that person is responding to your question? If you’re like me, it’s easy to be distracted by other things going on in the room and forget to actually listen. And I really love names so I have no excuse for not keying in on a person’s name. I think it’s a little like playing golf. If you hit the drive and it shanks to the left, do you make yourself wait and watch exactly where that ball lands? Look for landmarks to help guide you when you get there? Or do you see the general direction the ball is headed to and turn around to start looking for the next club you’re going to use? If you ask someone, “What’s your name?” then stay focused until you hear them say it.
4. Rinse and Repeat. Once that person says their name, repeat it. Even if it is a common name like John. Say it out loud and then to yourself several times. Then be sure to use their name as part of the discussion too. As Mr. Carnegie mentions above, people love the sound of the their name so you should use it in your conversation with them. Of course, you don’t want to sound like a used car salesman either, so don’t overdo it!
5. Have a Little Faith. Now that you’ve got some tips to help you improve your name skills, it’s time to let go of the old label. You know, the one where you say, “I’m awful at names!” According to a post by Think Simple Now, we can land ourselves square in the middle of a self-fulfilling prophecy by not only believing this about ourselves, but letting it define part of who we are. According to the author, Tina Su, “By relying on this story we’ve created, we instantly forget people’s names the moment we hear it, without even trying, because we are ‘horrible at names.’”
6. Don’t be Shy. The next time you see a new acquaintance go up and try saying their name. If you just can’t remember, ask them. Most people understand and are happy to tell you again. Usually you’ll get it down after the second time anyway.

Try these tips the next time you meet someone new. It may take a little practice and you won’t get it perfect every time, but that’s ok. With your new skills in hand you can now tell yourself that you’re great at remembering names!

Obama, speaking to astronauts  on the space station tells them how everyone back home is excited about the bay window of the space station that they’re opening up and adds that Stephen Colbert is excited about his new treadmill.  Colbert commented “Yes, I am! Yes I am! But not quite as excited as having the most powerful man in the world saying my name…in space!”

I confess that Shakespeare should be right: a rose by any other name should smell as sweet. If that’s the case, then names really don’t matter. But that’s a little like saying appearances don’t matter. We know that should be true. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. We should be more about content; form shouldn’t rule over function and all that. In the end, though, we’re all only human. And in the real world of humans, billions of dollars are spent each year on “form” – everything from logos, brands, product colors, and yes, even names.

I read an article about names recently published by Lucy Hunt that described how people with certain names should consider a change. The self-described name-sensitive writer admitted that as humans, “we’re a shallow bunch.” She describes her friend meeting a gorgeous woman but heading for the hills when he learned her name was Fanny. And she described how she met Mr. Charming only to guffaw at the sound of his name, Rufus.

Plenty of famous people have changed their names. I’ve described some of these in previous posts: Whoopi Goldberg, Sigourney Weaver, Elvis Costello, Angela Shelton, and Liv Tyler to name a few. Most of these name changes have resulted in the individuals living the life of their dreams; we could even go so far as to say a more authentic life. And I won’t suggest that changing their name resulted in these amazing accomplishments, but the fact that they braved social norms and expectations and had the kind of determined will which included changing their names, surely set them on the right path.

Do we have to let name changing be something only the rich and famous do for themselves or do we want to claim that right for each of us? You know what my vote would be on that. So, what are the top 5 reasons you should consider changing your name?

1. You Don’t Like Your Current Name. This is the part where someone like Fanny could step forward. But you never know, maybe she likes her name. That’s the kind of thing that makes this one tricky. You could have some odd name and really hate it…or you might just happen to really like it. There is no right or wrong answer here. It’s whatever you can make work for you. If you like your name, keep it. If you’ve always hated it, now is the time to consider a change.
2. You Hate the Way Your Name is Spelled. You may like your name and just want to spell it differently. (Any Amy to Amee’s here?) I’ve read that in some countries monks will actually prescribe for people to change the spelling of their name to change the energy of their life. There are lots of options here: Karen could become Karyn or Janet could become Janette. Could a new spelling be in the works for you?
3. You Need a New Direction. Maybe you’ve been through a recent divorce or some other life-altering change and you want to mark a new direction for your life by changing your name. A friend’s cousin changed her name in recognition of her mother’s death. There could be a number of scenarios here to describe, but it all amounts to the same thing. Similar to the altered spelling above, you need to change the energy of your life and one way of doing that is by christening your life with a new name. There are countless examples of people doing this over the years. A real-world example today would be when President Obama went from his childhood nickname Barry to his given name Barrack. Changing a name can have an impact on your life beyond just yourself. It changes the way others perceive you as well.
4. Getting Married. One of the most obvious reasons for changing a name comes when two people marry. There is frequently a desire to share a common name, whether this be the husband taking the wife’s name (this is an increasing trend), or the couple creating some new or hyphenated name that they share together. Of course there is the more traditional arrangement of the wife taking the husband’s surname. And finally, with more and more states opting for same sex unions, these couples are also considering name changes that reflect the union of their lives together.
5. Objectionable Pronunciations. I once counseled a woman whose boyfriend wanted to change his last name. I won’t give his actual last name but his name was something to the effect of Harry Fuchs. We all know that last name should be pronounced fukes, but we all probably know that a name like that could be frequently mispronounced (either by mistake or intentionally). I think we can understand why a person with this name would want to consider a change. There are plenty of people who have had to explain their name for years who may find themselves wishing for a change.

One of the reasons you should not consider changing your name is to be deceitful or hide from a checkered past. I also recommend that a lot of thought should go into changing your name. Names are important and you don’t want to change your name each time the wind shifts directions. You want to use your name as part of your thoughtful, authentic life journey. The name given to you at birth reflects what your parents wanted for you. It sounds a little self-indulgent to pick your own name. But maybe after years of doing what everyone else wants for you and for your life, it might be time for a little indulgence. The rose will still be there and will still smell as sweet, but now it will have the right name.

Sadly, the world’s largest buffalo has no name. He weighs in at over 60 tons and stands over 25 feet high. He resides in Jamestown, ND and was built in 1959. This infamous landmark results in thousands of tourists who stop by each year to take their photo next to the beast. Why Jamestown, ND, you might ask? Jamestown is actually nicknamed “The Buffalo City” and tourists are delighted with more than just the buffalo monument; there’s also the National Buffalo Museum and a live heard of buffalo. The only thing missing in this fairytale story is a name. That’s right. This anatomically correct male bison has no name. It’s a wrong the people of Jamestown have decided to make right.

Jamestowners have decided it’s time for the world’s largest buffalo to have a name. Between now and April 15, you can submit your ideas to the Name That Buffalo contest and be eligible to receive a $1,000 award if your entry is selected.

The thing is, names are important. Names fill up our language and identify us to others. Are you really anybody…or anything without a name? This poor bison is known and loved by thousands but doesn’t have a name of his own. As a line from the Indigo Girls’ song says, “Oh the fear I’ve known that I might reap the praise of strangers and end up on my own.” To Shakespeare a rose may smell as sweet with any name, but this bison needs his own name and now you have the opportunity to help!