A big priority for many parents is finding a name that can’t be reduced to any kind of undesirable diminutive. You know like, Willy from William (my apologies, Mr. Nelson). I thought about that when I began my interview with Alexis Miesen, co-proprietress of Blue Marble Ice Cream. You wouldn’t think the name Alexis could have any bad nicknames attached to it. I soon learned I was wrong.

Truthfully, most names have at least some slim possibility for being butchered, whether intentionally or by being misheard. And that is the case for our Alexis. Her funny name story comes during a time when she was living in Africa. Yes, that’s right, Africa. She was working with a community education center in Namibia, providing English and entrepreneurial training to young adults.

Once she returned to the States, Alexis decided to focus on her own education, earning a master’s degree from Columbia University. But she wasn’t about to give up helping others. After graduating, she continued her work in international development, including a stint as the development director of the African Services Committee.

When you’re working in the non-profit sector you see a lot of amazing people doing incredible things with limited funds. It didn’t take long before Alexis developed a desire to start her own business; one that would be a principled organization like those she’d seen in the non-profit sector, but also successful in terms of profits. Alexis wanted to start a company that was friendly to the planet, to the people who worked for her and to the community she served, and was somehow still sustainable financially. It’s sad to say what a tall order that can be, but Alexis decided to have a go of it regardless. It was then she partnered with Jennie Dundas to start Blue Marble Ice Cream. Nine months later, they were open for business.

Name Interview: Alexis Miesen

You might think it odd for a passionate vegan like me to interview someone like Alexis who owns an ice cream business. I get that. But I was so moved by Alexis’s passion for creating a conscientious, profitable company that was also committed to using organic, local ingredients. I share that passion. And I like focusing on the things I have in common with people rather than the things that separate us.

And that takes me back to the story of Alexis in Africa. You see, like karma coming to fruition, Alexis and Jennie were approached by a woman, Odile Gakire Katese, from Rwanda who was looking for a way to bring hope to the people of her country. Hope and jobs. Odile thought that opening an ice cream shop in Rwanda just might do the trick. Both Alexis and Jennie were open to giving it a try and that’s when the reality of Sweet Dreams came to be, the first-ever local ice cream shop in Rwanda. Alexis told me that most of the people she met in Rwanda had never tasted anything cold in their lives. But they believed that somehow giving the people there the chance to enjoy an exotic indulgence like ice cream could change lives in a modest but powerful way. It’s not that entirely far-fetched if you think about it. Sometimes the simplest of things can make the biggest of differences.  In addition to a sweet respite from hardship, Sweet Dreams also offers training and employment for dozens of local women and supports for local farmers and producers through the sourcing of their ingredients.

To fully support their project in Rwanda, Alexis and Jennie established a non-profit organization called Blue Marble Dreams.  Its mission is to support the joy and prosperity of communities in need through the unlikely medium of ice cream.   Once the project in Rwanda is fully self-sustaining, they hope to launch similar initiatives in other areas.

Through it all, Alexis has felt a strong connection with her name. Even when she was a child she liked it. Maybe that’s because her name was different from most other kids and it made her feel unique. Her siblings call her Lexy, but everyone else calls her by her full name, Alexis. There really was only that one incident where her name was an issue. The one in Africa where when introducing herself to a young man, he asked her repeatedly to pronounce it again, as if he wasn’t quite hearing it right. Finally, after the third or fourth repeat he got it. Alexis is not a common name in Africa so it’s understandable it took him awhile to understand her. But there was more to it than that. What he thought he heard her saying was not Alexis but, “I like sex.” I’m sure it was a memorable introduction, for both parties. And like I said before, every name has an opportunity to be mangled somehow, someway. Alexis just happens to have one of the funniest mangled name stories I’ve heard so far. And I’ve heard a lot.

Check out the full interview with Alexis on the latest Namely Marly Podcast.

Podcast Referenced Resources:

Blue Marble Ice Cream

Blue Marble Twitter

Blue Marble Dreams (http://www.bluemarbledreams.org/)

To learn more about Sweet Dreams and other Blue Marble Dream Projects

Albert Einstein once said, “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” I think I may have worked with some of the same kinds of people as Einstein. There are definitely days when I can empathize with this statement.

Working with people can be a pain! Going to the dentist can be agonizing too but at least there they give you Novocain. There’s no pain relief strong enough for an annoying workmate.

That said, there have been times when I’ve worked on teams that just gelled. We all worked together so well that it made it a pleasure to go to work every day. As a result, we all put more energy and time in the project because we enjoyed it so much.

I wish all teams could be like that. But what’s the difference between that intolerable workmate and the synergistic team? There had to be someone I could ask about this. Enter, Marshall Goldsmith.

If there’s anyone that knows the answer to that question and the importance of interpersonal relationships, it’s Marshall Goldsmith. He has a PhD in organizational behavior and has studied the effects of interpersonal behavior in organizations for over 30 years. He’s also written a number of best-selling books on the topic and has been described by Forbes as one of the top 5 executive coaches in the country. In fact, he was a pioneer of the concept of individualized 360-degree feedback as a tool for leadership development. He’s got more accolades than I have room to mention here. Let’s just say this, he’s basically a “Who’s Who” in the business world.

And this was exactly who I was looking for, a business guru. Someone who could give some objective and reasoned discussion on names. Besides, he’s got an interesting name himself. There’s only a small percentage of U.S. males named Marshall.

What would a guy with an undergraduate in mathematical economics and an interesting name like Marshall think about names in general? I called Marshall on a Saturday morning not too long ago to find out. Marshall regularly speaks to crowds of thousands of people. He’s even done interviews with the likes of Diane Sawyer. I imagined he was quite comfortable doing yet another interview, even though the topic was a bit, well, off topic for him.

But my state of mind was not so calm. I’ve read about Marshall Goldsmith for years and have found his books and podcasts to be more than a little enlightening. His books have been read by millions of people and in nearly every country of the world. But for all his well-known success, Marshall was personable and seemed to enjoy talking about something near and dear to me, names. Read on to learn for yourself what Marshall thinks of this intriguing topic.

Marshall Goldsmith talks about his life, his career, and his name

I know this may sound like a strange question to ask because the answer seems obvious, but I have found what we see as someone’s name and what their given name doesn’t always match. So, can you tell me what your parents named you when you were born?

Well, I think it’s a good question because I actually go by middle name rather than my given first name. My parents named me Herbert Marshall Goldsmith.

Did your parents tell you why they picked the name?

Both names Herbert and Marshall were given to me from names in my family; uncles and grandparents from both sides.

Did you ever go by your first name, Herbert?

No. My parents called me Marshall from the very beginning and so I’ve been Marshall my whole life.

Did you have to spend a lot of time correcting people who called you Herbert instead? I can imagine teachers calling roll might get that wrong.

No, not really. There’s really not been any issues going by middle name. At least not until recently. I travel a lot. I have over 10 million miles on American Airlines alone! And with the recent changes in security with traveling I’ve had to change my credit cards to include my first name so that they match the name on my ticket. So lately I’ve had to do much more explaining about my name than I used to.

Marshall is a unique name. In fact, there are only 60,000 of you in the United States. Did you like the fact that you had such an unusual name?

I have always liked my name even though I was aware of how unique it was. In fact, growing up I never once had another Marshall in my school all through my education, from elementary through high school.

And Marshall is one of those names that also is a word with another meaning to it as well. It seems like the marshal in old Westerns was always the good guy!

Yes, that is true. And when I was growing up there was a show on TV called Gunsmoke which had a character in it named Marshal Dillon. He was the good guy of that show so it was a good name to be associated with.

So I take it as a child you liked the name?

Yes, I guess you could say I did.

Have you ever gone by a nickname?

No. I’ve always gone by Marshall. Of course, Marshall is not the kind of name that lends itself easily to a nickname so maybe that’s part of the reason.

Yes, but I could imagine some kids donning you with a nickname not of your choosing. You know, something like Marsh?

That’s true, but I’ve never really had a problem with that.

My previous career was in the business world where I was a COO and executive director. I’ve always found your books to be so informative and helpful for business leaders. I’ve listened to you speak on Harvard Business Review podcasts. You’re also listed by the Thinkers 50 as one of the top 15 business thinkers globally. You obviously have experienced a great deal of success in business. What caused you to decide to study business?

I started out with a bachelor’s degree in mathematical economics. I enjoyed that degree but I became sort of burned out on the mathematics side. I decided to do something different and I got an MBA from Indiana University. And then UCLA’s Anderson School of Management offered me an opportunity to get a PhD in organizational behavior. It was a full-ride scholarship that included a $500 a month stipend. That sounded like a lot of money to me at the time so I decided to do that.

You seem particularly drawn to the issues related to business leaders.

Yes, some of that is because my research has been on the organizational behavior side. I study behaviors in organizations and as a result I work with CEOs of some of the top companies on how to be the best they can be. You can pick up my books and see the kinds of people I work with. My work includes some of the top leaders in business. The interesting thing is I’m an executive coach and I’m working with these leaders on their behaviors, but I’m not a business strategist. I was named one of the top business thinkers by Forbes Magazine, but honestly that’s not my area of expertise. I let the people I work with figure out that part. What I’m there to work with them on is addressing behavior and how that impacts the business.

A lot of people want to lay blame on things around them. It’s the company’s fault. It’s the team’s fault. That’s a victim mentality and doesn’t help lead to improved self value.

It seems like that is a big part of business. How we interact with one another.

That’s right.

Your latest book, Mojo: How to Get it, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back if You Lose It” deals a lot with our behavior.

Mojo is about aligning your inner and outer selves and finding ways to be inspired in both areas. I co-wrote that book with Mark Reiter who is an amazing writer.

Well, he’s got the perfect name then!

Yes, he does! I have a PhD and one thing that doctorate school does well is pound out good writing. If you have it in you to begin with, you won’t by the time you’re done. There is only one acceptable way of writing in a PhD program and it’s not animated and fun to read.

That explains a lot about the PhDs I know! I had noticed a lot of good analogies and even references to popular culture in your books, so I guess I can assume that’s Mark’s input.

I credit a lot of that to Mark. I even got a phone call from Samuel Newhouse, you know, of the Newhouse family famous for their publishing expertise? He called to tell me what a great book we’d written. That was an amazing phone call. It’s an example of the power of teaming with someone with complementary skills.

In the Mojo book you mention there can be a misalignment between our inner and outer selves. Do you find that is often the case? For example, we spend time on things that don’t make a difference in furthering our development?

Absolutely. I’m a Buddhist and this book, the concept of Mojo, is really about Buddhism.

Ah, I see. It’s a book on Buddhism cleverly written for business people.

Well, the book applies to more than just business people. I think it would be an excellent book for kids to read, particularly teenagers. In fact, at one of our recent workshops for a large hospital system, we conducted a seminar with patients. These patients were asked not to bring children younger than 13, but one couple couldn’t find a babysitter so they brought their 9-year old son. He did a great job participating in the program. At one point we had participants practice giving feedback to others about their communication style and this 9-year old boy pointed out that the other person in the group could learn to smile more when talking. It was great feedback. Clearly the workshop was as much value to him as it was to some of the adults.

It’s easy to be in one’s skin but not really know who you are.

Your book on Mojo talks about 4 vital ingredients: Identity, Achievement, Reputation, and Acceptance. In the area of identity you describe how important it is to really know oneself. Can you talk a little more about that?

Sure. It’s easy to be in one’s skin but not really know who you are. I illustrate in the book the example of Bono. He has had many life transformations from musician to rock star to now a humanitarian. I’ve talked with him about these life changes and how they’ve impacted him.

It’s interesting that you bring him up as an example because I’ve studied him as well. He began life with the name Paul David Hewson and took on the name Bono when his pals called him that. Bono meant “good voice” and it seemed to be a name that fit him well. He used that name and it seems to me that it was a part of helping him transition to his new musical career.

Well, that is interesting. I had never thought of it from that perspective before but it does seem that the transition of his career and his name worked well. We all can benefit from spending time understanding who we are and what we have to bring to this world.

I notice that two of these areas seem to be in a sort of conflict: Identity and Reputation. Identity deals with knowing who we are and reputation deals with how others think of us. It seems like we can spend a lot of time trying to figure out what others think of us. Sometimes that can show itself in odd ways: spending too much time on emails or Twitter or Facebook.

It’s amazing how much time is wasted on these kinds of pursuits. The top 3 “Twitterers” with the most followers are Brittney Spears, Ashton Kuchner and Taylor Swift. The thing is, people spend time following them and reading their tweets but these people don’t really care about what their followers are saying. It’s all one-way communication. It’s not very fulfilling in the end.

Yes. It’s sort of sycophantic in a way. Following what these people are saying when there’s no way that person is ever going to engage in true conversation. And the biggest concern is that it’s not providing meaningful fulfillment.

It speaks to the importance of deciding how we are going to spend our time.

I noticed in your Mojo book that it references a survey you conducted about Mojo. Some of the same items, say for example a commute to work, were listed as a chore by some people but as an area of success by others who said they used the time to listen to audio books. How can the same item – a commute to work – be listed negatively by some people and positively by others?

It is true that we found this result. Gardening is a good example. Some dislike gardening and do it because it has a benefit. Some dislike gardening and do it because they love the veggies they get as a result. On the other side of the spectrum, some people like gardening and do it without feeling it has a real benefit and then there are others who like gardening and do it because they feel it has a beneficial outcome. It’s all in how you look at it.

It’s all about attitude then? I mean, you said in the book, “Our experience of happiness and meaning in life is influence by who we are – as much as by what we are doing.” It means do you look at that commute to work as a hassle or an opportunity for fulfillment to listen to an audio book?

Yes, attitude is a very important part of Mojo.

Do you find there is often a disconnect between what we want and what we spend our time on?

Absolutely. It’s important that we ask the question, “What will this task bring to me.” It’s crucial to our personal success. What I find instead is a lot of people who want to lay blame on things around them. It’s the company’s fault. It’s the team’s fault. That’s a victim mentality and doesn’t help lead to improved self value.

I really respect what you do as an executive coach because you’re basically in a role of telling people things they may not want to hear, but it’s necessary in order to improve. I think this is a skill that many of us lack – this ability to say things we know others won’t want to hear. But it’s at the crux of every important relationship. Do you have tips to help others to improve in this area?

I think it’s important to focus on the future in these kinds of discussions. For example, when I’m working with a business executive and I observed them leading a meeting that turned out to be a complete failure. When I meet with that person afterwards I realize it doesn’t do much good to talk about all the mistakes made in that meeting. What I’ll say is, “What did we learn today that we can use toward making tomorrow’s meeting better?”

I see. So taking the emphasis off of today’s blunders and directing positive action toward making tomorrow better can help all parties involved sort of rally around a solution.

Yes, exactly.

Back on the topic of names, tell me about how you picked the name Kelly for your daughter?

That’s a great question with a good story behind the answer. My daughter actually went two days without a name because I wanted to name her Melanie, but my wife wanted to name her Mary. We just couldn’t agree. Then finally, the little girl next door said, “I think Kelly is a nice name.” And you know what? We agreed so we named our daughter Kelly.

I love it when parents have a fun story like that to share about how they named their child! Tell me, Marshall, what inspires you?

I am inspired by the fact that I get to do what I love. I’m not motivated terribly by money but I’m really lucky that what I do provides me with a healthy living. I basically do three things: I’m a teacher, a coach, and a writer. As a teacher I speak to both small groups and audiences of thousands of people and I enjoy that immensely.

Do you ever get nervous?

No, I never get nervous before a presentation.

Is that because you do it so much?

Well, that might be part of it but I know plenty of people who speak frequently who get nervous before every presentation. I think for me it’s just part of who I am. I just don’t get nervous.

What is it that you like about the other two areas – coaching and writing?

As an executive coach I work directly with CEOs. I meet with them and get to know them and understand what makes them tick. In some ways this is like one-on-one research because I learn so much from the people I work with about what makes organizations tick. Of the three, writing is not my most favorite area. But I’ve been lucky to team with some amazing writers and as a result my writing has impacted so many people. You can go to www.marshallgodsmithlibrary.com and see that I’ve shared my writing there and it has been read by over 5 million people from 195 countries.

That’s almost every country, right? I mean how many are there total?

There’s about 5 countries that have not read been to my site. Of course, that depends on which list of total countries you’re looking at. Some people have different ideas on how many total countries there are. But basically, there are anywhere from 3 – 5 countries that have not read my work on my online library.

That’s, amazing and certainly a testament to the power of what you’ve written. Marshall, thanks so much for your time today. I’ve been a big fan for years and it certainly has been a pleasure talking with you today.

Thank you, Marly, I’ve enjoyed it too.

Conclusion

Marshall Goldsmith is a teacher and his research, coaching and writing all support sharing stories and results to help each of us grow into a new and improved version of ourselves.

As Benjamin Franklin once said, “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning.” We can all – young and old – take the words from Marshall Goldsmith’s books to support continued growth in our lives and know what it means to experience true success. A life well-lived.

Marshall Goldsmith has certainly left a big impact on my life and I encourage you to learn more about him, his books, and other exciting adventures on his site.

And here’s the part that really drew me in, these four women all have something very unique in common, they all have the same first name… Oprah. In explaining his inspiration for the book, Gelbart said, “In the past 25 years, no name has had a greater cultural impact.” Gelbart explains that the book is really much more than women sharing the same name. It’s about love, friendship and self-respect. “Of course,” Gelbart adds with his endearing deadpan humor, “I do hope that everyone named Oprah reads it.”

Michael has a good understanding of the power of names having grown up with one of the most common male names in the last 50 years, Michael. He says that having such a familiar name inspired him to try to stand out from the crowd and was part of the inspiration to venture into comedy.

You can find learn more about Michael on his sites listed below. For now, enjoy my fun Namely Marly podcast interview with Michael about his book, his comedy, and his name.

Podcast Referenced Resources:

Michael Gelbart Website be sure to check out his “Video” page to see clips of Michael performing!

The Other Oprahs where you can watch a trailer about the book and download some sample pages.

You can also “like” Michael on his Facebook Page.
You can follow Michael on Twitter

Correction: The podcast intro makes this statement: Michael is a successful comedian whose career highlights include comedy specials on both Canada’s CTV and the US’s CBC.” This statement should read, “the US’s CBS.”

Be sure to check out my other Namely Marly Podcasts for more inspiring name interviews.

I was honored to interview so many wonderful people this year about their names, life, and inspiration. Below are some of my favorite quotes from some of the many people I interviewed. If you’d like to check out the rest of my interviews, go to Real Names, Real People or check out my Namely Marly Podcast. I’m excited to see what the new year brings us all and looking forward to sharing it with you!

Learning to manage emotions is not an easy thing to do, but makes a huge difference in our lives. — Wendy Craig-Purcell, author of the book, “Ask Yourself This: questions to open the heart, expand the mind, and awaken the soul.”

Your name is the first thing that people see about you and that makes it the first stage of our branding. — Annabel Candy, author of the popular blogsite, Get in the Hot Spot which enlightens readers with empowering tips for life and work.

There is no such thing as a perfect mother. We all feel insecure. We attack others because we feel insecure. When you’re content, you don’t feel the need to lash out. — Ayelet Waldman, NY Times Best-selling author

Names are aesthetic. Aesthetic joy. They’re also for the presentation of who you are. — Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist, research professor and Chief Scientific Adviser to the Internet dating site, Chemistry.com.

Gratitude is the driving force in my life. — Sarah Prout, author and owner of her own company, Sprout Publishing.

[Italian names] …have such beautiful rhythm to them. So much significance. Some names are in reference to saints. Other names go back thousands of years, which make them all the more interesting. — Lauri Fabiano, O Magazine recommended author of the book, Elizabeth Street.

A name creates an energy that works with the rest of you to create who you are, how you feel and how you look. — Christina Pirello, an Emmy-award winning host of the show, Christina Cooks.

There’s beauty in every thing and beauty in every person. Personal style is about finding out what feels beautiful to you. — Ginger Burr, an image consultant with a simple credo,to inspire dynamic personal and professional images without relinquishing personal expression or comfort.

I do feel I was meant to have this name and meant to be doing the work that I’m doing and that it all fits perfectly. — Rory Freedman, author of the NY Times bestselling book series, Skinny Bitch.

In the current culture that is predominately unhealthy, many people are now overweight than not, one out of two adult Americans are struggling with chronic diseases, almost none of us eat as many vegetables as we ought to, and almost none of us get as much exercise as we should. Becoming a healthy person in the context of that much unhealthy pressure is a revolutionary act. It requires revolutionary choices. It also changes the world around you in revolutionary ways. When you get healthy it really does revolutionize your life and the life of other people around you. — Pilar Gerasimo, founding editor of Experience Life Magazine.

I’m a huge proponent of procrastination. I don’t think you should do anything until you feel inspired. I wait on a lot of things until I just feel emblazoned to do them and then I just do my best work and pound through tons of stuff. — Rachel Fine, singer/songwriter from Brooklyn, NY who recently signed a record deal with Sunset Records and launched the world-wide release her debut CD.

I have always tried to honor what feels right to me. To listen to my deeper intuition and go in the direction that is the best for me and I think that that’s very different for every individual. I think you have to honor yourself. I have definitely put a major amount of intention on health and well-being both psychologically and physically. — Cindy Joseph, make-up artist turned supermodel who recently launched her own skin care line.

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Cindy Joseph has lived what most of us would consider a dream life. She began her career as make-up artist and worked with some of the biggest names in the modeling business over a 25-year career. Then at the age of 49 when she was pondering retiring as a make-up artist, she was given the chance to work on the other end of the camera. Cindy Joseph is now a supermodel for Ford Models, Inc. and has adorned the pages of magazines such as O Magazine and worked for prestigious companies like Espirit de Corps and Banana Republic.

Over the years Cindy developed what can be explained as a passion for ageless beauty. But first she had to go through a monumental Aha! moment. “Like everybody else,” Cindy explains, “I suffered from all the prejudices about what a model should look like.” What she’s learned over the years is that beauty doesn’t have to be defined by height, weight, hair color, or even age.

As a result, Cindy’s meandering but purposeful career is now exploding again, this time with a Boom!

Culling together her passion for makeup, her refreshing perspective on beauty, decades of hands-on research in cosmetics, and expertise in front of and behind the camera, Cindy continues promoting ageless, believable beauty with the launch of BOOM! By Cindy Joseph.

You can also catch Cindy on the pages of Experience Life Magazine, both in print and online via her monthly blog, “Just Cindy.” She brings a new voice to the magazine, with a fresh and provocative perspective.

To learn more about Cindy, her modeling and her makeup, check her out on her site Boom! By Cindy Joseph. For now, enjoy my Namely Marly podcast interview with Cindy about her name.

Podcast Referenced Resources:

• Cindy’s skin care line: Boom! By Cindy Joseph
• Cindy’s blog on Experience Life Magazine: Just Cindy
• Cindy loves the name Abigail, so we discussed the book, John Adams by David McCullough
• Marly read an excerpt about the name Cindy from the book, The Secret Universe of Names by Roy Feinson

Be sure to check out my other name interviews in Namely People.

The same is true for my next guest, Evan. Although the name Evan has traditionally been given to boys, this particular Evan is all girl. She describes below the surprising reactions she’s received from teachers to strangers.

That can be a problem with a name sometimes. People prejudge you based on what their perception of the name is all about. Evan has tiptoed (and maybe even danced) around the reactions to her name with ease and panache. Please join me for a brief but enlightening interview with Evan about her name.

Namely Marly’s Interview with Evan Baltazar:

What name did your parents give you when you were born?

I was born Evan Elizabeth Baltazar.

Did they tell you why the selected this name?

As my mother tells it,  originally she wanted to name me Erin, but while watching television one night she came across a girl named Evan and immediately changed her mind. I’ve never asked her about the Elizabeth, but it’s come in handy having a traditionally male name when sending emails/resumes/letters to unknowing people.

What did you think of your name as a child?

I can remember as a kid wanting to go by my middle name Elizabeth, because I thought it had cooler nicknames like Lizzy and no one would ever mistake me for a boy before meeting me.

I can still remember one time specifically when we had a substitute teacher. I was probably ten or eleven at the time and the class was being rowdy.  The sub started taking roll and when I raised my hand when he called the name “Evan”, he lost his cool. He yelled, “If one more person acts out or gives me a fake name, I’m sending you all to the principal!” He didn’t believe my name was Evan and after trying to defend myself, the rest of the class had to speak up for me to let him know Evan really my name. I was mortified.

Have you ever used a nickname?

Oh yeah. Almost all of my good friends call me Ev. My dad (and only my dad) calls me Evsta and depending on the circle of friends I’ve been known to answer to Evie, Evpie, E.Balt, E,  and Evie baby- These are just the ones that have stuck!

What do you think of your first name now as an adult?

I’ve definitely learned to love my name. It’s unique and leaves an impression on people.  It’s interesting though, boys tend to have a difficult time with my name. It’s like they have a hard time comprehending it and normally think they’ve misunderstood me. Girls on the other hand tend to love it. They think it’s cool that I have a “boy’s” name.

If you could have any name you want, what would it be?

Another name my Mom had wanted to name me was Claire. I’ve always liked that name and I think it would be pretty good fit for a clone.

Do you think overall that your name has made a difference in your life?

Like I mentioned before, people have a hard time grasping the concept sometimes. So introductions are always interesting. And the first day of school was always fun. Teachers always assumed I was a boy. As you can imagine, elementary school was the best! Just this past month I was at a training for work and my name plate read Mr. Evan Baltazar. I’ve had to learn to be patient and understanding. You’d be amazed how rude people can be even about a name. They’ll say things like, “Evan? That’s weird. Didn’t your parent’s know that was a boys name?”

My name has definitely helped me stand out though, especially in interviews and first impressions. It’s hard to forget an extremely energetic, in-your-face girl named Evan. People are intrigued by uncommon names and my name is normally a good conversation starter.

Do you find the topic of names interesting?

I do! I’ve always been interested in what causes a parent to choose a child’s name and how much experiences, people you’ve met, and books you’ve read, etc., influence that choice. It’s funny how a name can “fit” someone, or not for that matter. Or how a name makes you assume things about a person based on the prior experiences you’ve had with someone else who has that name.

What inspires you?

Life inspires me. I am constantly inspired by the people I meet, the places I go and the things I eat. My family and friends are also a huge inspiration to me. The things that they do in their lives on a daily basis inspire me to do great things with mine as well.

Conclusion

Evan is a unique name for a truly unique person. You can learn more about Evan and her cake making adventures on her site Sweetbakes.

This name interview is part of a series called, “Real People, Real Names,” a compendium of stories and pictures about people and their names.

If you’d like to be considered as a guest for this series, please use the Namely Marly contact form.

Music has been a big part of Rachel’s life beginning in her childhood. It’s true for anyone pursuing a dream; taking a passion, like music, and turning it into a career is both inspiring and daunting all at the same time. It requires dedication, fortitude, and a lot of self confidence. Rachel said about her decision to go for her dream, “At some point in your life you’ve gotta go big or go home.” She reached this realization two years ago and it was then that she began producing her own album which she later titled “Own Your Own.”

The album title says a lot about Rachel. She said, “I liked that sense of stepping into yourself and I felt ‘Own Your Own’ kind of encapsulated that.”

As a child Rachel endured endless teasing from other kids about her last name, Fine. It must be common of anyone whose last name is a word with an alternate meaning. She said kids would taunt her with made-up middle names such as, “Imso” or “Paysanoverduelibrary.” She also went through a phase where she experimented with creative spellings of her first name. All in all, she likes her name (and its spelling) and feels like it has been a part of the tapestry of her life. A life of pursuing and realizing amazing dreams.

You can learn more about her music including listening to excerpts on the Rachel Fine website. For now, enjoy this podcast interview with Rachel about her name.

Podcast Referenced Resources:

• Rachel Fine Website
• Sunset Records
• Own Your Own CD on Amazon
• Own Your Own CD on ITunes

Be sure to check out my other name interviews in Namely People.

People with the name Julie, in particular, can be described with these characteristics: socially intuitive, thrifty, successful, and fair. Roy Feinson describes that her “sense of fairness means that everyone gets the benefit of the doubt — at least until they do something to suggest they’re not to be trusted.”

It’s with this introduction that I introduce you to Julie Rudnick. Please join me for a brief but enlightening interview with Julie about her name.

Name Interview: Julie Rudnick

What name did your parents give you when you were born?

Julie Lyn Simmonds

Did they tell you why the selected this name?

My mom liked the name. She told me she called her dolls Christie and Julie when she played as a kid because she loved both names. Christie is my older sister’s name. I don’t think my dad really cared what my name would be. I remember telling people in middle school that my mom named us (my sister and me) after Julie Christie, the actress, because I thought it was way more interesting than the truth.

Have you ever used a nickname?

Yes, my nicknames have included, Jul, Spoolie, Julz and the best one is Wooly Lumber Company, Lumby, Lumby Loo. Nicknames are big in my family and they tend to get a bit strange as they morph. These are only SOME of mine.

What do you think of your first name now as an adult?

I really like my first name. It’s not very common (at least not in the small circles of people I’m acquainted with) but it isn’t unusual or weird in any way. I am not happy with my last name now, but I don’t want to go back to my original last name.

Did you change your name when you got married?

I have been married twice and changed my name both times.

Describe how you feel about the name change. Do you feel differently about your life?

I was not happy about changing my name either time that I was married. I felt it was expected of me and I felt that my prospective husband (both times) would be offended if I didn’t take his name. I guess I felt it was normal for me to change my name for marriage, but I think the idea is pretty antiquated by now. Actually, I think the whole marriage “thing” needs an update.

Do you like your name now?

I still like my first and middle names, Julie Lyn. My current last name is important because I had a daughter from that marriage and she has the same last name. I thought she would want me to have the same name as she does, so I didn’t change my name back when I got divorced. Turns out, I don’t think my daughter would have minded very much. I learned it isn’t that important to her what my name is.

If you could have any name you want, what would it be?

Julie is the name that really fits me, I think. And I feel very comfortable and happy with that name. If I could be just Julie that would be OK. I don’t like to be called Ms. Or Miss or Mrs. Anything, so if I just had a first name, I wouldn’t have to worry about that.

Do you think overall that your name has had a difference in your life?

I do. My first name has been a constant. My last name keeps changing, which is how my life has gone. Each time my last name changed, my life would change in a very big way; husbands, children, divorces, etc. My first name is here to remind me that I am always ME, regardless of the circumstances.

What inspires you?

My mother inspires me and my two sisters and my children. I have such a pure and profound love for each of them. That feeling of pure love inspires me.

Conclusion

This name interview is part of a series called, “Real People, Real Names,” a compendium of stories and pictures about people and their names.

Names are basically one or two-word stories. When we see a person’s name, we paint an idea of what to expect before we even meet them. And each person has their own version of a story about their own name. The purpose of this series of posts is to walk into my world and read about real people and what they think of their names.

If you would like to be considered for this series, use the contact form on this site to reach me.

Pilar describes a favorite quote from singer, songwriter David Wilcox is this, “When you lay your dreams to rest you can get what’s second best, but it’s hard to get enough.” And that’s the part about Pilar that draws you in, quoting poignant lyrics from less-than-mainstream musicians about the importance of following your dreams.

Here’s a brief excerpt of our discussion:

What did your parents name you when you were born?

My parents named me Pilar Gerasimo. No middle name.

No middle name?

No. There’s a story behind that!

OK. That’s my next question!

My mom and dad were traveling in New Mexico visiting some artist friends in a town named Pilar, New Mexico, which was a kind of a dustbowl in some ways but a kind of a beautiful place, in between the Sangre de Cristo Mountains and the Rio Grande River. My mom fell in love with the whole environment — the smells of the sagebrush, the beauty of this place — and she always remembered it. As her pregnancy progressed she was trying to get my dad to agree on names. One day she took a little nap and it sort of came to her, this vision of Pilar, New Mexico and really liking that name and so she proposed to my father the idea of Maya Pilar and my father said, “I don’t really care for the Maya part, but I like Pilar. Let’s just go with that.”

How wonderful that your name has a story rather than some name picked out of a book.

I feel like I’m sort of a walking souvenir for that trip for my mom. I just was talking to her about it this morning because I told her I was going to be talking with you and it was amazing to me how much sensual imagery she could come up with about staying in this little cabin that was built in the middle of this incredibly scenic, natural environment. The smell of the sage and the sunshine and the high desert air. And I thought, “Jeez! I really AM the souvenir! This is wonderful that my name can bring all this back for you!” I’m very honored by the name and I do like it.

In our interview, Pilar describes the revolutionary side of Experience Life Magazine and its readers. Here’s what she said: “In the current culture that is predominately unhealthy, many people are now overweight than not, one out of two adult Americans are struggling with chronic diseases, almost none of us eat as many vegetables as we ought to, and almost none of us get as much exercise as we should. Becoming a healthy person in the context of that much unhealthy pressure is a revolutionary act. It requires revolutionary choices. It also changes the world around you in revolutionary ways. When you get healthy it really does revolutionize your life and the life of other people around you.”

I think you can tell from these brief excerpts that this is not just a typical name interview. Pilar Gerasimo is a person you’ll be thrilled to learn more about, including her magazine Experience Life.

I hope you like the new podcast format. Now you can download the interview and listen to it as you fix Vegan Macaroni and Cheese Casserole, or take a walk or whatever.  Then let me know what you think of the new format. I love your feedback!

Podcast Referenced Resources:

Experience Life Magazine

Gay Hendricks of the Hendricks Institute

Pilar Gerasimo interview with Alexandra Jaye of My Goddess Life

David Wilcox

Also, be sure to check out my other name interviews in Namely People.

Names are basically one or two-word stories. When we see a person’s name, we paint an idea of what to expect before we even meet them. When I meet people, I talk to them about their names. And that’s the purpose of this series of posts. You get to walk into my world a little bit and read about real people and what they think of their names.

If you would like to be considered for this series, use the contact form on this site to reach me.

Today’s name interview is with Leinana Two Moons. Leinana authors the blog, Vegan Good Things which I (of course) find very inspirational. She has so many tasty, vegan recipes on her site! I hope you enjoy learning more about Leinana here today.

Name Interview: Leinana Two Moons

What name did your parents give you when you were born?

Leinana Myers

Did they tell you why the selected this name?

My parents honeymooned in Hawaii and liked the sounds of the names there (I am not Hawaiian). My dad claims that he made up my name so that it would sound Hawaiian, but I have discovered that the name Leinana actually does exist in Hawaii. It’s not common, but there are others!

What did you think about your first name growing up?

I didn’t really like my name growing up, but I’ve come to terms with it and now.

Did you change your name when you got married?

My husband is Native American, his last name is Two Moons. If his last name had been “Smith,” I might not have changed it. But how could I not change my name to Two Moons?

Describe how you feel about the name change. Do you feel differently about your life?

I love it. Now I fully embrace having a very unique name. I feel like it is the name I was always supposed to have.

Do you like your name now?

Most people think it’s a cool name. I get a lot of compliments and also a lot of questions. It’s always a conversation starter!

Have you had times where you wish you could change your name?

I hated having a different, hard to pronounce, hard to spell name growing up. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted a “normal” name – like Michele or Samantha or Nicole… by the time I was old enough to actually change it, I had grown into my name. Now I love that it is different.

If you could have any name you wish, what would it be?

The one I have now!

Do you think overall that your name has had a difference in your life?

I do think that having a unique name kind of forces one to have a unique personality. I’ve never really been one to do what everybody else was doing. I’ve always stood out because of my name, and I think that in a strange way, it has encouraged me to be more adventurous, to make daring decisions, and to forge my own path. Like I said, when I was younger I didn’t want to be so different, but now as an adult I find it very freeing.

What inspires you?

So many things. But what inspires me most is probably being around people who are really living out their dreams and passions. I think everyone should have something in their life that they feel passionate about, and committed to, even if it’s not their “day job.” And kindness and compassion are inspiring to me as well. These are the things that can change the world for the better.

Names are basically one or two-word stories. When we see a person’s name, we paint an idea of what to expect before we even meet them. I love to talk to people about their names and that’s the purpose of this Name Interview series. You get to step into my world and read about real people and what they think of their names.

If you would like to be considered for this series, use the contact form on this site to reach me.

Name Interview: Dayna Bubenicek

What name did your parents give you when you were born?

Dayna Alyson

Did they tell you why they selected this name?

They originally liked the name Allison, but thought it was better as a middle name. My dad didn’t like the name Dana at first, but my mom kept saying it and it grew on him. They added the “Y” because they thought it made the name look more feminine.

What did you think about your first name growing up?

I didn’t really feel that my name was unique. Uncommon is more how I would describe it. I didn’t really like my name. I wanted to have a pretty sounding name, like Jennifer or Heather; names of girls who seemed to be the popular girls. I kind of thought of my name as a boy’s name because the comedian Dana Carvey was popular when I was a kid.

I don’t think it’s a masculine name anymore, mostly because I have met several women named Dana. I have never met a man with the name, other than Dana Carvey, who I never technically met. However, I still don’t particularly like my name because I don’t think it’s very pretty sounding when you say it, but I like the way it looks written. My parents were smart to add the “y” for femininity when it is written, but I don’t think it sounds pretty when you say it. The “D” sound is too hard or something.

Did you change your name when you got married?

I’m somewhat traditional and always assumed I would change my name when I got married. When the time came, I was a little bit sad; it was like a part of me was going away and would never come back. It was harder than I thought it would be to say goodbye to my maiden name. You have a name for 25 years and then just like that, you have a new one. It’s a little weird.

Describe how you feel about the name change. Do you feel differently about your life?

I don’t feel any differently about myself. I have to spell my first and last name every single time I tell it to someone. I have always had to spell my first name because of it’s unusual spelling, but I only had to spell my last name about 1/2 the time before I got married. Now, I am always making jokes about how difficult my last name is to make people feel better about misspelling it, or not knowing how pronounce it, or butchering it even after I tell them how it is pronounced.

Do you like your name now?

Overall, I feel like having the same last name is a way to create cohesiveness in a family, particularly if you are planning to have children, which I did, so I’m happy with my decision for the most part. I just miss my old last name sometimes.

Have you had times where you wish you could change your name?

I never changed my first name mostly because I was afraid of offending my parents. I remember my mom getting upset with me when I was a teenager because she overheard someone misspell my name (they spelled it the traditional way of D-A-N-A, instead of D-A-Y-N-A as I spell it) but I didn’t correct them. My mom thought I was trying to change my spelling from what she gave me or something when really I was being lazy and didn’t feel like going through the comment process that comes when I spell my first name for people (That’s an unusual spelling…blah blah…).  I always remembered how upset she got and thought if I tried to change my name to something completely different she’d really freak out!

If you could have any name you wish, what would it be?

I actually like my middle name and have wished on more than one occasion that my parents had named me Alyson instead of Dayna. So I would probably go with Alyson since it is my middle name.

Do you think overall that your name has had a difference in your life?

I think it has, in conjunction with my sisters’ names.  My two youngest sisters have very pretty sounding names (Lindsay and Kacey), and my other younger sister, who is closest in age to me, had a very unusual and unique name (Micall), and I always felt that I had the ugly name.  I think that mentality impacted me when I was younger, and maybe I felt a little ugly because I thought my name was ugly sounding.  It made me shy and it was hard for me to make friends.  My sisters seemed to be more popular and prettier, to me at least. I’m sure they have a different story to tell.

Looking back, I think the name Dana doesn’t suit a child.  It feels more like a woman’s name than a child’s name, and there are no good nicknames for it either.  It doesn’t effect me as much today.  I think I have grown used to my name, and I think it suits me better as an adult, even if I still don’t like it.  And I know now that people aren’t thinking, “Oh! What an ugly name! She’s ugly, too!” when they meet me.  And my name definitely made me more conscientious when I was picking my children’s names.  I tried to pick names that are good for childhood and adulthood.  I’ll probably still have at least one child that doesn’t like their name!

What inspires you?

People that do extraordinary things.  Whenever I read an article or see something on TV about a person that accomplished something amazing or overcame great odds to be successful, that inspires me.  I love history because I think American history is littered with stories of people like that. And if I’m truly honest, Jesus inspires me, because I think if everyone tried to be more like Jesus, more peaceful and forgiving, this world would be a lot better place.

Bill Cosby once said this, “Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They’re dying, of course, but they look terrific.”

It seems vegetarians and their sorts have had an identity crisis on their hands. Rory Freedman is trying to change that. It’s true she promotes the concept of being “skinny” in her book Skinny Bitch. I mean, it’s right there in the title.

But she’s not talking about the passive, twiggy kind of skinny. It’s a healthy, in your face, be the best you can be kind of skinny; a bitchy skinny.

Rory and her co-author Kim Barnouin did what many vegans have been trying to do for years; they took that wimpy vegan image and gave it an extreme makeover. As a result, their Skinny Bitch book became a NY Times bestseller. That, my friends, is not an easy task.

There are plenty of books that serve as the foundation for veganism, but very few of them have made it into the hands and minds of the mainstream.

Skinny Bitch has now sold over 2 million copies and has been translated into 27 languages. The authors now have other books in the Skinny Bitch series, such as Skinny Bitch in the Kitch; Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven, an eating guide for pregnant women; and Skinny Bastard for men.

John Robbins, author of the book Diet for a New America, had this to say about the book, “Skinny Bitch is outrageous, wickedly irreverent, and right on the mark. Any young woman who pays attention to this book will become healthier, thinner, and more powerful.”

Needless to say, this caught my attention. And then I became infatuated by the author’s name. Some names just hit me and I find myself mulling on them for days at a time. Rory. What an interesting name. Predominately a male name until only a few years ago, it now has followed the way of other names and become more androgynous. Roy Feinson, author of the book Secret Universe of Names, suggests that people with the name Rory “subscribe to the dictum that if you’re not making waves, you’re not paddling…”

That certainly seems to be a theme in Rory Freedman’s life. She’s counseled models, actors, athletes and other professionals on how to use the Skinny Bitch method. Rory was also voted VegNews magazine’s first-ever “Person of the Year.”

So it was understandable that I was a bit nervous as I proceeded into this interview with the notorious Skinny Bitch, Rory Freedman. Was the book named after her? If so, I was hoping to come out of it unscathed. Or was it merely a catchy title to a provocative read? Take a look at this interview with Rory and you see for yourself.

Name Interview: Rory Freedman

What did your parents name you when you were born?

They named me Rory.

Did your parents tell you why they picked the name Rory?

They told me they wanted an “R” because they wanted to name me after my grandfather Robert, but they wanted something different. Someone that my father worked with suggested Rory; I think he got it from a baby name book.

As a child, what did you think about the name Rory?

As a child I hated my name. I wanted to be Nancy, or Jennifer or Jessica. Desperately! When you’re younger and you’re in one of those stores that sell magnets with rainbows on them with names of kids, I had never, ever, ever once seen any of those things with a Rory. I resented the name when I was younger.

So how about as an adult?

Now I’m really happy I have the name I have. I feel like I’ve grown into it and I like it. I appreciate it now because it’s different.

Although I’d probably still be happy with Jennifer or Nancy or Jessica; I still really like those names. But I appreciate that my name is unique. One of the things that I really hated when I was younger, was that it was a boy’s name. But now I think it’s really cool to have a name that could be for a boy or a girl. I think it’s kinda mysterious.

I’ve read that women with names that are more traditionally masculine are more successful.

I had heard something like that, too. And then I heard something else about personality types of people with unique names. That was very comforting to hear.

I actually have this book about the psychology of sound and names. The premis is the sound of your name can impact who you are. The letter R is very passionate, but the “y” ending diminishes it some.

I love language and I love names. When I heard you were doing interviews like these I thought, “Wow, what a cool thing to do, to talk about names and what they mean.” And I think it’s so cool that that book exists. Very cool. Do they ever say bad things about any names? “Names like these will end up a failure in life!”?

Sometimes. He also gives interesting tidbits, for example, people with names that begin with a “J” make more money.

I love names with “J”. I had a boyfriend with a “J” name and I used to think if we had kids I was going to want “J” named kids. I guess it started with my love of Jennifer and Jessica in my childhood. I always thought “J” was a pretty letter.

Speaking of letters in names, I’ve found that the letter “R” can be difficult for some people to pronounce and you’ve got two of them in your name. Do people have trouble pronouncing your name?

Oh yes! It’s awful. When I was little everyone called me “Wahwee” to the extent that it’s now my mom’s nickname for me.

And now, even when I’m introducing myself to people, the one thing I do really hate is I feel like I have to over-enunciate my name. Otherwise they won’t know what I’m saying or they’ll think I said Lori or Marie. So I have to really get it out there and make a big-mouthed Rory.

Where did you come up with the name for your book series, “Skinny Bitches”? Were you trying to give crunchy vegans a little bit more of an edge?

Yeah, I had an understanding of what the problem was. The information is really compelling to lead people towards a vegan diet because animals are being confined and tortured and slaughtered in ways that people would absolutely be devastated to learn. Eating the flesh and products of animals is bad for our health and its terrible for our environment. And when people learn about all this they want to make a step in the right direction. That said, nobody wants to read about any of those things because it’s miserable and boring.

I wanted to write something easy to read and compelling and the idea for it just came to me. Once I started to figure out the problem then I wanted to be a part of the solution. Then the title was just there waiting in the ether for me and it just sort of got streamlined into my brain. I almost feel like it has nothing to do with me, you know? I give myself credit for coming up with the angle to take as far as making it look hip and cool and disguising the veganism. But the title? Yes, I came up with it but it really just came to me.

I do feel I was meant to have this name and meant to be doing the work that I’m doing and that it all fits perfectly.

I’ve known people that I never expected in a million years would be interested in a vegan diet, but they read your book and they were actually trying it.

I was never interested in a vegan diet either. I used to eat Burger King seven days a week. The day that I learned what was happening on factory farms and slaughterhouses was the day my life changed forever. It was just through circumstance that I got a magazine in the mail. I just happened to be leafing through it and that article and those pictures caught my eye and changed my life. And since that time 17 years ago I’ve read so many books on the subject and I’ve thought, “Why don’t more people know about this? Why aren’t more people out of their minds knowing that this goes on?” I realized that a lot of people will never pick up these books. They just won’t. And I thought, “I’m going to do something about that.”

I’m curious what your thoughts are about people who decide to change their name?

I definitely think that if you don’t resonate with your name then you should go ahead and change it. It would be such a shame to spend your whole life not identifying with your name and how the rest of the world knows you. I just was in Peru and I met someone who changed her name. She was given a spiritual name in a ceremony and she was describing how it felt at the beginning of the process to tell people that she changed her name. She realized that on FaceBook she would have this new name and she thought, “Oh god, what are people going to think? Who is this hippy-dippy, entitled idiot going by a new name?”

She said she just felt like she had grown so much, had learned so much and had really evolved and transformed in a lot of ways. She said she really liked and embraced her old name and who she was but she also felt like she was stepping into this new name and this new life and this is how she was identifying herself now. She said she was okay with people thinking she was crazy and indulgent. That in this new name, she had enough confidence and courage to not care what people thought. I think she summed it up really beautifully.

We’re used to the idea of people changing their names, just not the first one.

Yeah, and I think it’s sad for your whole life to feel like you’re not your name or to hate your name. I’ve met some people with some really freaky names and sometimes I’ll ask them where they got their name. I really appreciate anybody who sort of steps into a really crazy wild name, whether it was given or chosen. I think it does take a certain personality. I don’t think my name falls into that category. I think my  name is certainly unique but not wild and crazy. But I’d like to think that if I did have a totally outrageous name, I’d step right into it.

Have you ever thought about changing your name?

I was in a relationship and I considered the idea of changing to my boyfriend’s last name. I wondered how I would feel not being Rory Freedman anymore. It occurred to me that I didn’t like my last name–that I didn’t really identify with it at all. But I think now having had some success professionally with this name, I’ve sort of really grown to like it. In a way I really have made a name for myself. It’s not to say that if I happen to meet a man whose name I happen to like better that I might trade up. But for now I’m sticking with it and I like it.

Do you think your  name has had an impact on your success?

Well, maybe. I think everything in the world has an impact on everything. And I do think that words have distinct and strong energies to them. And that there is something strong about my name.  I don’t know what came first, you know? The chicken or the egg. Was I already going to be this way anyway even if my name were Jennifer, Jessica or Nancy? And certainly when we look around there are people with all sorts of successes with all sorts of names. But I do feel I was meant to have this name and meant to be doing the work that I’m doing and that it all fits perfectly.

That’s so nice! I’d like to ask one last question. What’s your favorite vegan dish?

Let’s see. I like a lot of the recipes in Skinny Bitch in the Kitch. The Macaroni and Four Cheeses is one of my favorites. The green goddess is another one of my favorites. The Dream Bars are also crazy good. I like it all. I like food! I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions that people have about veganism–that they’ll be deprived in some way. But nothing is further than the truth. All my group of friends that are vegans, we love eating more than anyone on the planet and we indulge ourselves all over the place.

That’s one point I try to address with my site. Everyone thinks vegans are so deprived. I actually just posted a recipe for vegan 3 Musketeers Bars.

I’m going on your website immediately to see those! We are so lucky here in Los Angeles, we have a restaurant called Madeline Bistro and the chef, Dave Anderson, is a true genius and he makes peanut butter cups, Twix, and Butterfingers that would make your eyebrows fall out they are so friggin’ good!

Conclusion

Imagine my relief to learn that Rory herself is a delightful person who came up with a catchy name for her book. And as a recovering people pleaser, I think learning to love the bitching side of life doesn’t have to be a negative thing. I thank Rory for introducing that concept to my life.

So watch out Bill Cosby and the rest of the world. Today’s vegan has a little more vim and verve than before and we’ve got the Skinny Bitch handbook to prove it!

Now, a trip to Madeline Bistro sounds like a good next step. Mr. Anderson? You might want to make a few more of those vegan peanut butter cups!

The problem is, I worry that would mean giving up my comfy yoga pants and t-shirts. I usually console my disheveled self by saying looks shouldn’t matter anyway. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, right? I mean, what was it that our moms always told us? “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

Then I try to remember the last time I didn’t judge a book by its cover.

The thing is, looks do matter.  Dr. Gordon Patzer, Dean of the College of Business Administration at Roosevelt University has spent over 30 years studying attractiveness. He says in an article on MSNBC that, “we are just hard wired to respond more favorably to attractive people. This is something anthropologically that has existed for as long as history exists.”

What are we to do? Do we have to sacrifice comfort for beauty? I think I’ve found the answer to this question and her name is Ginger Burr. Ginger is an image consultant whose credo is simple: that a dynamic personal and professional image could be created without having to relinquish personal style or comfort.

She sounds like my kind of person!

I talked with Ginger recently about her name, but the topic of fashion came up a time or two as well.

I was under the impression that most image consultants are people who in their youth could throw together a paisley scarf, striped tights, and a hounds tooth skirt and somehow make it sing! Come to find out, Ginger wasn’t like this at all. In fact, she fumbled around with clumsy fashion trends until she was in her 30’s. That’s when she finally started to understand her own personal style. As a result she appreciates the need for each person to find their own authenticity rather than having someone else’s style forced on them.

Ginger’s skill with fashion grew over time and as a result she started her own company, Total Image Consultants. She’s been acknowledged in The Boston Globe, Women’s Health Magazine, Worth Magazine, VegNews Magazine, Elegant Wedding Magazine, CNN.com, ABCNews.com, Fox TV News and WHDH Television’s Chronicle.

One of my favorite tidbits about Ginger is that she was selected as one of VegNews Magazine’s “25 Most Fascinating Vegetarians” in 2007 because in addition to being a fashionista, Ginger is also vegan. That means she can offer “guidance, support and insight to her vegan (or just curious and open-minded) clients showing them how to dress fashionably and still be true to their values.”

If you’re curious about vegan fashion, what it means to find your own authentic personal style, or how someone with gorgeous red hair was named Ginger, you’ve come to the right place. Don’t worry if you’re lounging around in your yoga pants and baggy t-shirt. I won’t tell anyone!

Marly’s Name Interview with Ginger Burr

What did your parents name you when you were born?

They named me Virginia. I was named after the woman who introduced my parents. My parents planned to call me Ginny as a nickname. One of my father’s requirements in a name was that we all have nicknames from our birth names so I was going to be Ginny until I was born with red hair. Then I became Ginger.

So they picked your name based on your hair color?

Yes, yes. They looked at me and said, “Red hair? Oh my goodness, she has to be Ginger.” And so that was it. I was Ginger from the moment I was born.

I was going to ask if you had heard of this trend of calling people with red hair Ginger.

It’s funny, you know, I think it’s because ginger root has that sort of color. I often have people who tell me that my name is so perfect for my hair. People remember me, generally, which is kind of nice.

Did you like your name as a child?

I’ve always liked my name. Well, wait a minute. If we’re talking about the name Ginger, then yes. Virginia is a fine name, but I don’t relate to it all that much. Mostly because I only hear the name Virginia when my mother’s mad at me or the IRS is calling. I don’t think about that name too much. I’ve always gone by Ginger and as a result I’ve always liked my name.

I mean, when I was growing up, Gilligan’s Island was very popular. And of course, Ginger was the movie star so how could you not like that name! She was on a deserted island wearing new ball gowns every day. Perfect makeup. I don’t know how she did it. It was totally absurd, but it was great fun to watch.

So what do you think of your name now as an adult?

I did go through a phase when I first started my business where I questioned my name. I wondered if Ginger was a serious name for a businesswoman. I wondered if I should change and go by Virginia. That lasted about 10 minutes. And then I thought to myself, “I’ve always been a Ginger. Everyone knows me as a Ginger. There aren’t that many Gingers out, particularly those with red hair.” So I decided to keep using Ginger.

I even like my name as I get older too. It’s funny because I saw my mom last week and I told her I was going to do this interview with you about my name and she said she remembered when she told people my name that they would caution her that Ginger may not be a good lifetime name. They asked her to think about that little girl when she’s 80 years old. Will she still want to be Ginger? Or will she want something more fitting of an 80-year-old, like Virginia.

As I was listening to my mom I thought, “No, I think I’m Ginger until I’m 110 and that’s just the way it is.” And I will have red hair until then too.

That’s great! I love it! The name and the hair are keepers.

Yes. I had a friend who was born with red hair — she was much older than me — she died at 102. And she died with red hair. I thought to myself then that I want to be just like Naomi. I’m going to be a redhead when I’m 102.

I think you have to feel good about who you are and the name that you’re using. How you relate to your name is important. Names are so powerful!

It’s important to keep ourselves in sync with who we are both physically and mentally. If we’re youthful in spirit it’s good to have our exterior reflect that as well.

I agree. I watched my grandmother go gray and she was originally red headed too. I hope I don’t get any redheads mad out there, but when red heads go gray, it’s sort of a funny yellow, dreary color. It’s not a wonderful salt and pepper color. So my sister and I both looked at each other as teenagers and agreed that we would not do that. I admire gray hair on people who can really pull it off. My gray hair, and it’s under there, would not have been beautiful. Let’s put it this way, I would not have felt beautiful, thus it stays red.

That’s really important – to define for yourself what is beautiful.

Yes it is. It’s the kind of work I do. It’s what I teach people.

What do you think of people who change their name?

I think everybody should love their name. I know plenty of people who have either changed their name or changed to some derivative of their name. I think you have to feel good about who you are and the name that you’re using. How you relate to your name is important. Names are so powerful!

I’ve had some people tell me that names are superficial. They think it’s silly to worry about a name. What’s your response to a comment like that?

Well, it’s certainly their prerogative not to change their name. We all get to do what makes us feel the best. As long as we’re not hurting anyone else and it gives us a sense of joy or pride or feeling special, then I say go for it. What harm does it do to anyone else? So they have to learn to call us something differently.

I have a friend who changed her name significantly. Her new name was not even related to what it was before. I made a very conscious effort to be aware of that because I wanted to honor her and what her wishes were. I think you should get to do what you want and other people should get to do what they want and leave you alone.

I read one of your quotes about how you’ve cherished opportunities for personal exploration because they’ve led you to where you are now. How did these opportunities lead you to find your own personal style?

I grew up in a small town and back in the 60’s and 70’s fashion was considered to be a bit bizarre. I didn’t have a lot of ways to learn about what really interested me. I was in my 20’s before I really began exploring in a way that led me to where I am now. I was looking and searching for what made me feel like me. It wasn’t until I met Nevena, the woman who eventually became my mentor, that I knew what I wanted to do with my life. That’s also finally where I figured out how I wanted to dress. I want every woman to feel wonderful about how she looks. I don’t care so much about making sure that you are fitting in or conforming.

Besides, you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to fit in with everything that’s out there. What’s more important is when you feel really good about how you look and you’ve done it intentionally, not just by default.

Is it difficult to help clients if they don’t really know what they want as a style?

Some people don’t know what they want but they usually know what they don’t want. We can always start there. I have a home study program called, “Who Taught You How to Dress?” and one of the sections is called, “Are you in the right job for your clothes?” I included this because so many people are wearing clothes eight, ten or twelve hours a day that they absolutely hate because their job requires it. I sometimes suggest that maybe they could use their skills in another way and get a job that allows them to dress in a way that they feel really fabulous. I think each one of us deserves to explore and find out who we are and then look at how we want to present ourselves to the world.

When we encourage others we can help them feel good and be able to step out of their comfort zone into a new way of expressing themselves.

How should we respond to people who react negatively to our new ventures in life, whether it’s changing a name, discontinuing a nickname, or a new wardrobe?

In my home study program there’s a section called, “Hurtful Comments and Unwanted Advice.” There are so many people who feel that somehow they have permission to say to somebody, “I don’t like your name. Why’d you change it?” or “I don’t like your hair. Why are you wearing it like that? It always looks messy.” “How come you dress so differently” or “Your hips are too big.” Whatever it is. These things make women feel bad about themselves.

But there’s another way of empowering people. When we encourage others we can help them feel good and be able to step out of their comfort zone into a new way of expressing themselves.

It seems our internal dialog is really important and I saw on your site that you work with your clients to do affirmations?

Yes, to help them to begin to put some of those hurtful comments behind them. Some comments from our past can really get a hold on us. There are lots of ways that people can begin to move beyond some of these feelings that they’ve been holding securely inside them that have kept them feeling kind of small. Or kept them from really recognizing their beauty and their power and so I have found affirmations are one way of doing it. And just sometimes with the type of work that I do, just learning to dress in a different type of way helps as well.

Change can be really scary. Is it difficult for people to learn to dress differently?

Yes, but that’s why we take it one step at a time.  Many of my clients will get excited, but also a little uncomfortable because they’ve been entrenched in their comfort zones. If I have a client like that I just remind her that this is more about exploration. It’s about making sure that the image you project is really the one that you mean to project about yourself through the clothes and choices that you make. I don’t tell people they have to dress a certain way. I might say to a client, “OK, you like purple and you like floral, so let’s see how we can combine those in a way with a certain kind of neckline and make it work for you.” Everyone is really very different and that’s what’s so fun about what I do. Even if two people have the same body type and the same coloring, their personalities are very different so they may choose completely different clothing styles. It’s fun to see that come to fruition.

Would you say that you’re helping your clients to be more authentic?

Oh, absolutely. Yes.

I think that’s what I really connect with when I read about you. You’re not about making someone fit into some certain fashion mold, but more about helping them be who they really want to be.

And so many women aren’t and that’s only because they don’t know how.  And they’re frustrated, particularly, because the fashion industry caters to the young, the thin. Anyone over 35 or 40 or who maybe has a little bit of extra weight on them or is not perfectly balanced in their bodies, they’re left by the wayside. It’s as if the fashion world is saying, “OK, you’re on your own. Fend for yourself. Figure this out.” And there’s no guidance, and so they then begin to dress by default in the sort of over-sized clothing or things that just don’t suit them but just feel safe or familiar. I’m there to guide them and help them explore and find other options that make them feel good but that are equally comfortable and flattering and that speaks to who they are at a gut level.

I saw that you were named in VegNews Magazine as one of the most fascinating vegetarians.

Yes, I know. Isn’t that so wild!

It’s very cool! They described you as a vegan image consultant. Do you cater a lot to vegans?

It’s a growing population. I see what I do as being available to help educate people who have a curiosity and want to understand the amount of suffering that goes into the fashion industry, including the hair care products we use. And actually it’s interesting, because a lot of people have no idea where their leather shoes come from and why they might not want to wear merino wool. We don’t often think about these kinds of things. We think about the quality of something or we think about the fit or the color or the price. But we don’t think about where it actually originated. When I became a vegan I became painfully aware of the amount of suffering that’s out there in the name of fashion. Well, actually in the name of a lot of things, but because I’m an image consultant, I think about it from the fashion perspective. I decided I would show that you can be fashionable and still be compassionate and cruelty-free in your clothing choices.

I don’t know if you know this, but I’m also a vegan and usually people sound surprised that veganism is also about clothing (including leather purses).

Oh, absolutely. It’s absolutely beautiful what’s out there now. And no one would know that they’re not leather. But there are still those people who think unless it’s leather it can’t be good quality. And so it’s just about educating people and enlightening them. I don’t even bother with the people who have no interest because it’s just useless and you’ll ending up tearing your hair out.

But for people who say, “Oooh, I didn’t know that, tell me more,” that’s where I put my energy. Not all of my clients are vegan by any stretch of the imagination. If they don’t bring it up, I don’t mention it. My focus, if you look at my newsletter, includes examples of fashion trends for the season and they will always be vegan.

How did you decide to turn this passion for fashion into a business?

I was almost 30 when I started my business. I had been a music major in college and I had worked in the arts for a little while, but was starving so I was also temping at night to make ends meet. I ended up working for a professor at MIT. One day I realized I had been there almost five years and it wasn’t what I want to do with my life.

This realization kind of coincided with me meeting Nevena, the woman who eventually became my mentor. She offered a seminar in Boston. I knew within an hour of being at her seminar that this was what I wanted to do. I continued working part-time while I built up my business.

I’ve read that it’s important to always look your best. Is that true?

I think it is true but I think when people hear that they think feel alarmed because they know they don’t want to dress in their best clothes all the time. “ And it’s really not about that. It’s about feeling good about how you look. Lately I’ve been telling a lot of people about Glima t-shirts. They’re fabulous t-shirts. They’re pretty and often with a v-neck, and they’re designed for a woman’s body. You can go to the park with your children, run to the grocery store, whatever you want. You put them on with a nice pair of jeans and some pretty sandals or sneakers, and go about doing whatever you’re out running around doing. You can have a coordinated outfit that’s comfortable and casual and still look pulled together and still look you’re best given the situation. So I think your best is defined as wearing something that you feel good about. A lot of women think, “Oh my goodness, I have to give up comfort in order to do this” and you don’t. Not at all.

We use words like beautiful to describe women, but it can mean so much more than physical attractiveness. It can also mean strength and character too.

It’s interesting that you say that. I do this workshop that I call Aligning Your Inner and Outer Beauty. It’s about looking at who you are on this inside and applying words to that inner essence. It’s interesting how many women in the seminar are very reticent to choose words like lovely or pretty or attractive to describe themselves. I think that’s because a lot of us have been brought up to believe that we’re not attractive or if we think we are we should play it down because we’ll be too full of ourselves. It’s wonderful that we all find different ways to express that. Otherwise, we’d all want to marry the same person and that would be terrible.

There’s beauty in every thing and beauty in every person. Personal style is about finding out what feels beautiful to you.

Women are more harsh critics of themselves than they should be. There’s more than one definition of beautiful.

Even though the magazines and fashion gurus will try to tell you otherwise, there is more than one definition of what is beautiful. There’s beauty in every thing and beauty in every person. Personal style is about finding out what feels beautiful to you. It’s not so much me saying, “Oh, you have beautiful eyes.” It’s about you thinking, “Oh my gosh, look, I have really gorgeous eyes.” And it’s about finding parts of your body that you really feel excited about and finding how we can play those up. Women spend so much time saying negative things about themselves that we want to downplay those parts and start to really focus on the parts we do like because most women, we hope, can find parts of their body that they really think are pretty or attractive. So then it’s a matter of drawing focus there.

Conclusion

I felt both relieved and emboldened as I talked to Ginger, realizing that fashion doesn’t have to mean high heels and suits. Those things can be a part of a wardrobe, but it doesn’t have to be a mainstay. And neither does my yoga pants and t-shirts.

With a fiery name like Ginger and the hair to match, she’s blazing a trail for everyone from fashion phobics to those who just need a little nudge, so they can know that beauty is well within all of our reach.

One of my favorite books on names, The Secret Universe of Names, by Roy Feinson says this about people with the name Ginger, they are “subscribers to the idea of noblesse oblige: being the sovereign of their own lives comes with the responsibility of improving one’s knowledge of the universe and helping others do the same.”

Based on what I’ve learned about Ginger so far, I think this could be her personal mission statement. If you have a chance, check out Ginger Burr’s website and join a discussion with her and others on her blog or the Total Image Consultants’ FaceBook page. I know you’ll be glad you did.

This is what happened to Christina Pirello. When doctors gave her little reason for hope because of the advanced stage of her leukemia, she decided to take a trip to Italy. What happened instead is nothing short of miraculous. She changed her diet.

Christina was introduced to Robert Pirello (who eventually became her husband) who in turn introduced her to a new way of eating, including whole, unprocessed food. After a little over a year of her new healthy lifestyle, her doctors were now the ones in shock. Her cancer was gone.

She not only adapted her own lifestyle, but also honed her expertise in cooking whole foods so she could share this way of eating with others. Today, Christina is an Emmy-award winning host of the show, Christina Cooks. She’s also the author of several cookbooks including the bestselling Cooking the Whole Foods Way, which was recently named the “Healthiest Cookbook of the Decade” by the Physician’s Committee for Responsible Medicine.

Christina certainly is one busy woman. She contributes regularly to The Huffington Post and is a featured columnist for several magazines including Natural Health and Vegetarian Times. She also founded with her husband The Christina Pirello Health Education Initiative in 2008. This organization connects with kids both in schools and on TV to help them learn to make healthier choices.

However, when I talked with Christina she was so personable it was as if I was talking to an old friend. She was both funny and energetic as we talked about a favorite topic of mine, names. We’re both vegan and I could have spent all day talking with her about recipes, health benefits of vegan food, animal issues, etc, but we didn’t have all day. We were content to put everything else aside, and for the moment talk about names, what they mean, the impact they have on a life, and how to live up to one. Below are the excerpts of my chat with Christina. I hope you enjoy!

Name Interview With Christina Pirello:

Hi Christina. Let’s start by talking about your name.
Great! You want to know how I got my name?

Yes – absolutely!
I was born three days before Christmas and my mother, who is Italian, was trying to decide on my name. I’m half Italian and half Irish so my maiden name was Hayes. Because I was due so close to Christmas my mom came up with the name “Holly.” But my mom’s dad, my grandfather, said that she couldn’t name me Holly because he said Holly Hayes sounded like a name for a stripper.

So, next my mom considered the name Noelle, and again my grandfather vetoed it. That’s when he came up with the name Christina. He told my mother that I would be the best gift she ever gave him and it was true. My grandfather and I were very close up until when he died when I was in my early 20’s. He was one of my favorite people and a huge influence on my life.

What did you think of your name as a child?
I hated my name when I was young because no one else had it. No one else was named Christina. We used to watch Romper Room when I was a kid and the teacher, would call out names of the kids. She would use a mirror to find the kids and call their names. She would see my brother, Tommy, and call out his name. And she would see my sister, Helen, and call out her name. But she would never see me.

One day I asked my brother why she would see him and call his name and my sister and call her name but she would never call on me and he said, “Oh, you don’t know?” And I said, “Know what?” He responded that the mirror can’t see adopted kids. I was shocked to say the least! So, there were some things that I didn’t like about my childhood. I thought I was an adopted kid (I wasn’t) and my name was always a source of stress for me.

Have you ever had a nickname? Chrissy? Chris?
No one in my family ever shortened my name. They always called me Christina. When I was very young and my younger brother was still little he would call me Tia. But once he learned to speak, he called me Christina. We didn’t shorten names in our house.

My mother gave us names that she loved to say. I think she said mine the most. I was the one she yelled at a lot, but I was also the one that had the most to do. I remember the most common thing I heard said when I was young was “It was my sons who were supposed to torture me like this!” She would say things like “Sit here until I get back” and my brother would just sit there. I had too much curiosity pulling at me. It was as if I was thinking, “What? Do you mean sit in this one place?”

Have you ever changed your name?
No. Well, I mean, I changed my name when I got married. My last name was Hayes and my husband’s name was Pirello. I just think his name sounded more interesting. Christina Pirello had a nice sound to it. The thing is, our family is very Italian, even though we’re half Irish. Even my father who was Irish acted more like an Italian. So when I got married I realized that having an Italian last name worked well for me.

What do you think of your name now as an adult?
I really like my name. I think I just needed to grow into it.

You have a cooking show called Christina Cooks. Do people think your last name is Cooks?
It happens all the time! People will say, “How would you like this set, Mrs. Cooks?” I think to myself, “Are they talking to me?” and then I realize what’s happening; that they’ve confused my last name with the show.

Is Pirello an Italian last name?
It’s Sicilian. Someone in Robert’s family did the genealogy and determined that Robert’s family goes back to Greece when the name was Pirellos. When they came to Sicily they dropped the “s” and when they came to the States someone in the family started spelling it differently.

It’s interesting that your perspective on your name changed over time. What do you like about your name now?
I love my name. It has music to it. I even like that it’s unique; that you don’t hear it every day. I really had to grow into it. When I was a kid I used to make lists of the names I would select if I could change my name. I used to love the name Juliet.

But now I really like Christina. I think it’s a very feminine, beautiful name. A lot of people ask me where it comes from. My mother had a very unique name. Her name was Tonia. Not Antonia, just Tonia. It’s such an unusual name. It came from a relative in Naples. I always used to wish she had named me that.

A name creates an energy that works with the rest of you to create who you are, how you feel and how you look.

I agree – Tonia is a beautiful name. What about your sister? Does she like her name?
My sister is the fourth Helen in the family. My mother’s mother was Elena, a derivative of Helen. My mother’s sister is also Elena. They all decided to go by Helen. My sister was the same. She always went by Helen Hayes. She didn’t like the name so I encouraged her to change it. She thought it was too weird to change her name. Her real name actually was Elena but she went by Helen because she thought it was a more Americanized version. It’s typical of people with ethnic names to change their name when coming here. My grandfather who named me, was named Gerardo, but he changed to Jerry when he came to the States. That’s the same reason my sister went by Helen. But she did finally decide a few years ago to go by her real name, Elena.

That’s similar to Barack Obama’s name story. He went by the same nickname as his dad, Barry, but decided he wanted to use his real name, Obama. He didn’t have to make any legal changes, but it did require people learning to refer to him differently.
Yes, that is what my sister went through. I think she’s happier with the name Elena.

Christina is so close to Christine. Do people mispronounce your name sometimes?
Yes. Sometimes people call me Christine. I usually correct them when they do that. When I was young and extremely shy I would never correct people. Something happened to me in high school and I got a little braver. That’s when I started correcting people. Now I have to do that on TV. It feels weird, correcting people on TV.

Can we talk about The Christina Pirello Health Education Initiative? It must be a very important organization for you to put your name on it!
I’ve been volunteering in inner city schools for the last 10 years and I would come home and rant for days. I would tell my husband, “I can’t believe how they feed these kids!” About three years ago my husband said, “Why don’t we start a nonprofit and try to make some changes?” I thought to myself that would be fun. Of course the first hurdle was setting up the 501c3. I was dreading that, but the IRS was actually very helpful. And we had a great attorney too. They were all just so nice to us throughout the process. They would say things like, “Are you sure you want the language in your application to read this way?” Maybe there was something to the name Christina that they liked!

We got the 501c3 about a year and a half ago. In this economic environment, raising money to make huge systematic changes about the way food is prepared and delivered in public schools is hard. We have worked a lot in Philadelphia schools. We go in and teach the kids about healthy snacks. We also work with the kids to grow gardens so they can see vegetables grow for themselves. Now we’re producing a children’s show called “I Play With My Food” with a corresponding program where we go into the schools. It also includes a website that schools and teachers and kids can use to help this generation that is in so much trouble with their health. Experts are actually predicting that this generation may be the first one to have a shorter lifespan than their parents! The goal of this program is to help them know that they have more healthy options.

You say in your book, Glow, that beauty isn’t limited to surface appearance. It’s the total sum of being. Do you think a person’s name can be part of that being?
I think a person’s name can work for or against them, in their own estimation of who they are and how the world perceives them. People who love their names and feel that they fit them seem to be more comfortable in their skin overall…other people find power in their names. So yes, a name creates an energy that works with the rest of you to create who you are, how you feel and how you look.

Conclusion
Christina Pirello faced a crucial struggle early on in her life. She took that struggle and turned it into a lifetime of opportunities to help herself and countless others lead more healthy lives. What an amazing accomplishment in and of itself! On top of that, Christina has written five books including:

• Cooking the Whole Foods Way
• Cook Your Way to the Life You Want
• Glow, A Prescription for Radiant Health and Beauty
• Christina Cooks: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Whole Foods But Were Afraid to Ask
• This Crazy Vegan Life.

She’s now working on her sixth book, I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not Going to Eat it Anymore. The title alone has me intrigued, but we have to wait a little while to read that one because it’s not going to be published until May 2011. Something to look forward to! In the meantime, you can check out the Christina Cooks FaceBook Page to get updates.

A big thank you to Christina for her time in talking with me and sharing more stories about her wonderful life, including the name Christina that she has grown into quite beautifully!

However, it didn’t take long before I realized this book by Laurie Fabiano is about a family and their journey to America in the early 1900s that landed them on Elizabeth Street in New York City. The lead character, Giovanna (what a great name!) asks on her journey to a foreign land, “What plans do you have for me…L’America?” The answer is given in this, Fabiano’s debut novel. Maria Laurino describes the book Elizabeth Street as “both a fascinating immigrant story and an intimate portrait of how a first-generation American—and the author’s own great-grandmother—outwits one of the most brutal crime organizations of the early 20th century.”

Laurie Fabiano spoke with me recently on the topic of (what else) names. Not only about Laurie’s names, but also those of the characters in her book and her family. Laurie is an author but she’s also been busy studying the genealogy of her family and their names. Needless to say there was much for the two of us to discuss. Grab a cappuccino, a biscotti (or two) and be ready to be dazzled by some wonderful Italian names!

Why did your parents pick the name Laurie?
My mom just liked the name. All the names around me are so meaningful but mine really isn’t. There’s no real Italian connection to it like the other names in my family.

What about your last name?
Fabiano is my dad’s name. It’s from southern Italy. Fabiano is not such a common name here in the States, but we finally went to the village where my grandparents are from, Trani, and it was a different story there. It seemed like everything was Fabiano. Piazza Fabiano. Fabiano Café.

I was doing genealogical research in Trani and my first stop was the cemetery. Right there in the middle of the cemetery there was this large mausoleum and the name on it was Fabiano. I was wondering if maybe this was someone from my family so I approached the caretaker and as we talked he asked to see my genealogy papers. He took one look and explained that my Fabiano family was not the one resting in this mausoleum but more than likely the one who worked for this family. That’s how workers got their name generations ago. In Italy it was not unlike how many American slaves got their names – peasants took the name of the family they worked for. Our guess is centuries ago my family worked for the Fabiano family.

Regardless, it was fun to see the name everywhere. When I would tell people that my name was Fabiano, they would definitely take notice.  I named my daughter Siena which was my grandmother’s last name. On that same trip we went to the city of Siena and it was nice for her to be able to see that.
My daughter loves her name. I wish my name were significant in some way. Her middle name is Nicola, which is her great-grandfather’s first name.

Have you heard this quote by Bill Cosby: “Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.” You’ve got this covered with your daughter’s name!
I haven’t heard that quote before, but it’s funny. I like to say, give your children a middle name so when you call them, they’ll know if you’re angry.

How  do you pronounce your name? Is it LAH-ree or the more like the traditional Lori?
It’s pronounced like the traditional Lori. My middle name is Anna and my fondest memories from my childhood was hearing my dear grandfather call me Laurianna.

So it’s a traditional name with a unique spelling?
Not really.  Laurie is a common name in the United Kingdom, although in the U.K. it is more often a man’s name.  When I went to England I was a bit chagrined to find out that the word for truck is “lorry” – written differently but pronounced the same.

Did you ever have a nickname?
My brother and dad called me Louie. They still do today.

Is it a disappointment that the name doesn’t carry more family significance?
Yes. The name Laurie really has no family significance. My younger sister is Anna Marie, which is my grandmother’s and mom’s name. My brother is named for my father.

When I did genealogical research I realized the significance of the Italian tradition of naming sons after the father’s father. I was able to trace generations back and see the same thing over and over; sons named after their grandfathers. That tradition begins to disappear after the first generation of immigrants who came to America.

It sounds as if the research for the book and the research about your genealogy and names coincided nicely!
That’s true. In fact, after the book was published I even started getting emails from people saying “I think I’m you’re cousin.” And now more of the women in our family have named their daughters Siena.

So you’ve inspired people with Italian names for their children?
Yes, but what feels even better is that when I initially wrote the book it was for my immediate family. I wanted them to know their family history. But now the book is “owned” by a much larger extended family. I think family is so important. This book has meant a lot to me, but the opportunity to connect with family members previously unknown to me was definitely an unexpected bonus.

What do you think of Italian names?
They have such beautiful rhythm to them. So much significance. Some names are in reference to saints. Other names go back thousands of years, which make them all the more interesting.

Your book Elizabeth Street has some meaningful names in it. Can you describe more about that?
One of the interesting name stories from the book is when Giovanna, the lead character, marries Rocco. They had both been previously married and widowed and they both adored their first spouses. They agreed that if they had children the boy would be named after Giovanna’s deceased spouse, Nunzio, and if it were a girl she would be named after Rocco’s deceased spouse, Angelina. All goes along as planned when they have their first child, a daughter, and they named her Angelina. However, by the time they have their second child, a son, Angelina has been kidnapped and they are trying to get her back. As a testament to Giovanna’s faith, instead of naming her son Nunzio as she and Rocco agreed, she named him Anthony after the patron saint of missing people. She was praying to Anthony for the safe return her daughter.

Was Rocco upset that Giovanna didn’t hold to their naming agreement?
It was her husband she would have named their son after so it was never an issue. That boy – Anthony – later received the nickname Cakie. Because he liked cake.

The characters in your book are based on your own family. Was Cakie a member of your family?
Yes, he was my uncle. I called him Uncle Cakie. He was quite a character. He was just such a wonderful person.

I really enjoyed reading about the characters in your book and listening to your description of them now. I feel the same when I describe my father and some of his friends of that generation. Even their way of speaking was so different. I wonder if globalization has taken away some of those endearing regional characteristics?
Definitely.  We’re getting more and more homogenized.  We’re all basically immigrants here in this country and yet with each new generation so much of this history becomes lost. The stories of individuals within the family — a lot of that gets lost. To the extent you can research your genealogy, it can help you learn so much more about where you come from.

In your book you do a sort of “tour of Elizabeth Street.” For those of us who have never been there, can you provide a brief description?
It is in lower east side of New York City. In the timeframe of the book, it’s probably the most densely populated street in New York City. It’s teaming with people. So many people were stuffed into the tenements. Elizabeth Street was home to many gruesome crimes — including numerous bombings — it eventually became the nexus of Black Hand activity. The Black Hand was basically the precursor to the mafia. This is why I decided to name the book Elizabeth Street.

Also, I named it Elizabeth Street in honor of my grandmother because it really is how her narratives always began. She would start her storytelling with, “We lived at 202 Elizabeth Street…” Although it took many years for her to open up.  Her life story, the tragedies she went through, was not something she wanted to talk about.

Are there other place names in your book?
The other place name in the book is Scilla (pronounced sheela). It is the village in Calabria my family came from. The name “Scilla” comes from the ancient myth of Scylla.  In the Illiad, Homer speaks of sailing through the strait of Messina and the danger of being eaten by the monster Syclla on the Calabrian coast or being caught in the whirlpools of the monster Charybdis on the Sicilian side. This is where the expression “between a rock and a hard place” comes from. In fact, I initially was going to name the book “Between a Rock and a Hard Place.,” as it is the perfect metaphor for Italian immigration.

You recently had a family reunion with some of your cousins that you connected with after the book was published?
Yes, we had a family reunion in my hometown of Hoboken where around 70 Siena cousins, most of whom had never met, came together. It included first cousins that my mother hadn’t seen in 70 years. It was very emotional. It breathed life into the piece of paper called a family tree that I had been working on. I knew the gathering would be diverse and it was. It’s interesting you know, but instantly they became like family because you have all these shared characteristics. One cousin showed up with a trove of photographs. It was wonderful. I was seeing pictures of people I’d heard and written about but had never actually seen before.

You talk in the book about the voyage and entry into America through Ellis Island. Is it true that many immigrants had their names changed there?
When you begin writing a book, you come into it with it some preconceived notions. For example, I thought Ellis Island was an awful place. In reality, what I learned was that it wasn’t that bad. The concept of people having new names forced upon them was another preconceived notion. What I learned was a revelation. There’s a common belief that many names were changed at Ellis Island. However, very few names were actually changed at Ellis Island, if any at all. Most names got changed when children of immigrants went to school. When I started researching more — looking at things like birth and marriage certificates — is when I discovered this. The teachers couldn’t or didn’t want to pronounce all the different ethnic names. With Italian names they would take out a vowel here or there. Our family name, which was Siena, became Senna.

So these children of immigrants would come home and say to their parents, “My name isn’t Siena, it’s Senna.” How did the parents react to teachers changing the name of their children?
I think most of them were fine with it because the real desire was assimilation. By 1930, four and half millions Italians had come to America. Half of them went back. The ones who stayed wanted to assimilate.

How long did it take you to write Elizabeth Street?
It took forever to write this book because I had a very busy job and a family. It was written in stolen moments over a 10-year period.

Do you have a next book coming?
I have another book in the works, but I’m not actively working on it right now. I also have a career as a producer of events and strategic marketing for non-profit organizations so I’m fairly busy right now.

If you could change your name for just a day and no one would question it or think it was odd, what name would you pick?
That’s easy. I would change my name to Giovanna, after my great-grandmother.

Conclusion

Talking with Laurie Fabiano about her name, her family names, and the characters in this book was a most delightful discussion. It was particularly poignant talking with someone who has done research on her genealogy. Having a historical understanding about the names in your family can really shed a lot of light on the different strains of your own DNA. I think Laurie would agree with me in saying that if you don’t already know it, you should consider researching your family tree.  Soon-to-be parents today scour modern name books for the right name for their unborn child. They might be surprised to learn of some uncommon and more meaningful names in their own family lineage.

There’s a reason why this book – Elizabeth Street – has been recommended by the likes of O Magazine and the New York Times. It’s a thoughtfully written book full of immensely interesting people; characters made even more appealing (if you ask me) by their charming and meaningful names. I hope you run out today and read it and then come back and join in on the discussion with me here or on the Elizabeth Street Facebook Page. I promise you, it will be time well-spent.