Names and Marriage
Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
The majority of women in this country change their name when they get married. Carrie Sloan of Elle Magazine recently wrote about this issue and quoted an Indiana University study showing how 70% of Americans think that women should change to their husband’s name when they get married. Laura Hamilton, one of the lead authors of the survey, said that 25% of the respondents thought that a woman needs a marital identity of her husband’s. She interpreted this finding by saying, “Once they got married, they should give up their own identity and become part of him.”
However, according to a Pew Research Center’s report on the US Census, the average age for first marriages is on the rise. Men and women are marrying later in life, after they’ve already established their careers. This means both men and women already have their identities intact before marrying.
This has caused me to wonder why the majority of women change their names when marrying. Could there be some belief or hope that changing a name is like purchasing insurance to prevent divorce? Claudia Goldin, a Henry Lee Professor of Economics at Harvard, acknowledges that, “There is this sense that changing your name is sort of the Krazy Glue that holds your marriage together.” In reality, there is no evidence to prove that changing your name when marrying will result in a long-lived marriage.
What we have now are more creative solutions for couples when discussing names and marriage. Thanks to women before us, we now have the option to keep our birth name when we marry. Or women can hyphenate both names. Couples can choose a new name or hyphenate their names together. And an interesting new trend, according to an article in the USA Today, more men are choosing their wife’s last name.
I think what is important is that couples discuss the topic of names openly and to be aware of the options that are available to them. I also think it’s important that women understand the societal pressures on them to change their names and to decide what works best for themselves and their relationships. What do you think about names and marriage?
