Namely Marly

Marly (Pascale) in high school

In high school French class we were given a French name and our teacher called us by that name from that point forward. My name was Pascale. I loved it! And actually, it worked for me because the name, Pascale, means born on (or around) easter and my birthday is in the spring.

That year of high school French class was soon over and the name Pascale was never used in reference to me again. I never forgot it though, and it still bares for me a little gleam of interest. Pascale is like a dream name – not one I would ever use for myself but someday when I write that novel, I would definitely want a heroine named Pascale!

Do you have a dream name? Maybe you heard someone with this name or you came up with it on your own. It’s a name that sometimes  you think you might like for yourself. Maybe it’s one you would give to your child (or already have). Tell me about your dream name and why you like it.

How did the band Alice Cooper come up with the name? They started out together as The Earwigs and later changed to The Nazz, but they felt they needed something a little more scandalous to breakthrough to the big time. Scandal is obviously not so good for professional golfers, but it can work wonders for rock bands.

There were rumors the band selected the name Alice Cooper after consulting a ouija board that suggested the lead singer was a reincarnated witch. It was only revealed in later years that the band came up with the name because they liked the idea of creating an image of, as Cooper said, “a cute and sweet little girl with a hatchet behind her back.”

The lead singer’s name at the time was still Vincent Furnier, but fans saw him differently. He notes that a lot of people assumed his name was Alice Cooper and would refer to him as such. The band wanted to play up the role of their controversial origins and felt that they could do more to develop the lead singer’s persona. Commenting on the Barbarella-inspired look, Cooper said, “When I saw Anita Pallenberg playing the Great Tyrant in that movie in 1968, wearing long black leather gloves with switchblades coming out of them, I thought, ‘That’s what Alice should look like.’”

The problem was that the band had already copyrighted the name Alice Cooper and as a result, Cooper is reported to pay yearly royalties to the original band members in order to use it commercially.

It must be worth it because Alice Cooper (the person) has been noted to say that changing his name was one of his most brilliant career moves. Another testament to the value of having the right name for the person.

We’ve talked about people who share the the same name and this reminded me of a book about a woman who takes on a journey to find other women with the same name. The book, Finding Angela Shelton, is about Angela Shelton who describes how she changed her last name to Shelton (not because of marriage but because of her own choice) and through this process became intrigued by other women with the same name. What were they like? What experiences had they had? Angela looked them up and found several of them scattered across the country. And she called them. There was a common bond among these women with the same name, and she wanted to learn more. The book is about her journey to find these women, and how along the way she discovers something more.

At least 70% of women she talked to had been victims of rape, childhood sexual assault and/or domestic violence. Angela Shelton had herself suffered molestation and it is apparent that her journey to find other Angela Sheltons and learning that many of them had endured similar abuses was one of healing. Angela says that her journey taught her “about the power of the human spirit, no matter what your name is.”

However, I believe there is power behind the name. In The Secret Universe of Names author Roy Feinson credits people with the name Angela as having  personalities that can be linked to those of angels, “mysterious and ethereal, but also slightly dangerous.” I imagine it was this dangerous side of Angela Shelton that sought to find resolution to her past in the manner that she did. In fact, for most of her life Angela kept quiet about the abuse she suffered as a child. This book and movie (she filmed her nation-wide trek) provided her the opportunity to break that silence. During the years of silence she handled the pain with self-abuse and addictions. The book shares how she got “off the trauma train and onto the Joy Jet!”

Her connection with these women who shared her name was life transforming. She states on her site, “I am so proud to be an Angela Shelton.”

Greek Temple of Delphi

“Know yourself and you will know the Universe”
—Excerpt of an inscription at the Greek Temple of Delphi

Larry Ackerman, leading authority on organizational and personal identity, in his guest post on this site recommended that knowing yourself is a key component to personal identity. Do you ever wonder how you could live life 20, 30, 40 or 50+ years and not know yourself? The truth is, the “self” is easily hidden in us all.

Don Miguel de Ruiz, in his book The Four Agreements, talks about the human domestication process that is reinforced throughout our childhood; part of becoming socialized into our parents’ culture. We’ve all gone through this in different ways. Boys are not supposed to cry. Girls are supposed to be obedient. Different generations have different socialization aspects, but it’s there for each of us. As a result, over the years the true self becomes buried under layers and layers of expectations from others.

There’s no doubt that over time it becomes more and more difficult to know our true selves and more and more difficult to break the bonds of others’ expectations of us.

So what are some steps you can take to know yourself better? Here’s where we’re lucky because we have many options. One idea is to work with a life coach.  I did this. I worked with life coach and author Victoria Moran a few years ago and found this to be a remarkably great step for me. Life coaches are people too so making sure you get one that works well for you is important.

The DIY (do-it-yourself) method of getting to know yourself is another approach. There are a lot of books out there that can help you. I highly recommend Julia Cameron’s The Vein of Gold. This book provides a lot of insight and exercises to help a person better understand themselves.  There’s also Cheryl Richardson’s, The Art of Extreme Self-Care or Wendy Craig-Purcell’s Ask Yourself This. This book includes some very important self-discovery questions such as:

• What do I say “yes” to in my life?
• What am I looking for?
• Who am I trying to please?

I heard someone say at a conference recently that you should be yourself because everyone else is taken. The time and effort spent getting to know you is most definitely time well spent.