I’ve been reading about the topic of bullying lately because it’s in the news right now. A lot of bullying relies on name calling for its effective delivery of insult and pain so it seemed like a relevant topic for discussion on this blog.

You know the saying, “sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never harm me?” That’s a cute saying, but research is validating that it’s not true. Reports indicate that 30% of us have experienced bullying at some point in our lives, but I expect the real number is probably higher than that. It’s not a fun thing to report, but research is showing that it’s results are real. Words are in fact harmful: children who are bullied experience more sadness and loneliness than their peers.

When my daughter would come home from elementary school upset at something a kid at school said to her, I would remind her that mean kids do mean things because they’re feeling small. Now she’s in middle school where mean things are said and done individually but also in large groups.

I watched a TED talk recently by David Logan whose research identified 5 stages of tribes. Knowing and understanding where we are and how to work with people in these tribes can help a person individually and the tribe collectively. In his March 2009 presentation, he described these stages of tribes as follows:

• Stage One: The world sucks! You may have had a day or two where you thought you believed this, but people who truly feel this way can do horrible things. This is the tribe of gangs and prisons. People in these tribes will do whatever it takes to survive.
• Stage 2: My life sucks! Dr. Logan describes the stereotypical image of a Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) as a classic Stage Two environment. He suggests when we’re at the DMV we may think to ourselves, “How can people be so dumb and yet live?” He quickly points out, however, that it’s not the people who are dumb, but the culture that makes them seem dumb.
• Stage 3: I’m great, but you’re NOT! A lot of people set up shop and live here. It requires no self reflection so it can appear a comfortable place to be. The problem is, this form of existence relies on finding others to compete with and beat down to assure that the theory remains true. This behavior makes it a natural habitat for bullies.
• Stage 4: I’m great, who’s not great! This is where people can begin to do some remarkable things. Tribes in this stage unite individuals around certain values and bring them together to do something greater than their individual level of competence. These people are highly motivated to work together and as a result can achieve a lot.
• Stage 5: Life is Great! This stage is fairly self evident. It’s like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs that resolves in self actualization. Very few achieve it, but it’s a goal for us all to get there.

I told my daughter about these stages of tribes and it helped. I think she was taking the rhetoric being spewed by some particularly adamant Stage 3 people as truth. Once she realized that these kids at school were desperately defending their “I’m great but you’re not” theory, it started to make sense to her. I’m not suggesting it makes it easier to get through a day surrounded by people like that.

Toxic cultures are a lot like smoke-filled rooms. You can leave the environment, but the stench stays with you. The trick is finding ways to protect yourself by understanding the bullying and distancing yourself from its venom. I love names, and I would like to prevent them from being used as weapons.

My last post included a picture of the one lilac blossom blooming in my yard. Mindy of The Suburban Life blog commented that she loved lilacs but that they made her sneeze “like the dickens” followed by a question: Where does that saying come from?

It clearly doesn’t take much to entertain me because I took her question as an assignment. My next quest for the day. OK. Well, it didn’t really take me a day to figure this out, but I did think about it a lot! I’m devoted to the topic of names and I include words as part of my passion because, words are names too. (They get offended if you leave them out!)

I used to hear my dad scream from the other room, “Where the dickens are my shoes!” That usually was code word for us kids to scram. Because although dickens is not considered foul language, it’s a precursor (pardon the pun) and it indicated patience was running thin. Or it meant you left his shoes outside when you were trying to make a scarecrow yesterday. Either way, the further you were from the scene of any crime, the better!

So, tell me. How many of you thought that when we say, “like the dickens” that it was some reference to Charles Dickens. It’s a mistake made by many people with a lack of understanding of the saying’s origins. (I didn’t know it either, but don’t tell anyone.)

Charles is actually off the hook because “what the dickens” dates back further than his appearance in history. But his surname may be given some credit. Back in the day Dickens was a substitute used in place of the word Devil. The Devil. Voldemort. These are characters who fall in the “he who must not be named” category so other names are used in their place.

World Wide Words says that the first recorded use of the phrase was William Shakespeare in “the Merry Wives of Windsor.” You want to see the line? I thought you might. Here it is:

FORD: Where had you this pretty weathercock?

MRS PAGE: I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of”.

Mr. Quinion describes how the pun in this script relies on the audience “knowing that Dickens was a personal name and that what the dickens was a mild oath which called on the Devil.”

Now, Mindy, you know what the dickens that saying means! Anybody else have any assignments for me?

This is a leaf of a grape vine and it’s hiding a surprise.

Probably something that looks an awful lot like this!

The wisteria are not going to be left behind in this spring’s debut of colors!

And neither are the lilacs. This is the bush I planted just last year. I was happy to see even this one bloom.

Imagine my amazement the first spring after we moved to this home — the whole side of the house was bursting with these delicate, scented flowers.

I think nature provides us opportunities to reflect on our lives. Time to stop and smell the flowers, both literally and figuratively. Don’t you think this would be a much better time of year to make “new year’s” resolutions? (I mean, who wants to start a walking program in the middle of the winter?)

These are the days when the landscape erupts in color so we can be stopped in our tracks and reminded of the chance for renewal. Is there anything in your life that is ready to blossom? Are you considering a new job? Another child? Or maybe you’d just like to learn a new language.

When you plant a seed, it doesn’t produce flowers overnight. Things take time to grow. And you can’t pull the soil back to see how the seed is growing. (Darn! This seriously tests my lack of patience!)

This is our chance to meander through life’s garden to learn where we want to grow. Now, I think I’m going to dust off those Spanish tapes and go pull some weeds!

My husband likes to say that you shouldn’t gild a lily, but what did Shakespeare know about brownies? Granted, he was in Europe during the days when chocolate was first introduced, but whose to say they really knew what they were doing with it? I bet if Shakespeare were here today, he would agree that this lily (the brownie) definitely needs to be gilded!

So gilded it is. This recipe is so dense and rich, you would never believe it’s vegan. I can guarantee you that after a few bites, I forgot all about the fruit in my yard that I may never get to eat and drifted off into a blissful chocolate high. I recommend it!

Vegan Rocky Road Brownies

½ cup margarine, melted
½ cup peanut butter (I use peanut butter to help reduce the amount of margarine. You could also use coconut oil. Yummm)
1 package silken tofu, whipped
4 squares chocolate, melted (I use Baker’s semi-sweet)
2.5 cup sugar
1 cup coconut milk
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 ½ cups all purpose flour
½ cup cocoa
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup walnuts, chopped
1 package vegan marshmallows
Chocolate Syrup

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Lightly grease a 9×13 baking dish.
3. Wet ingredients: Melt margarine and chocolate squares in a microwave. Combine the melted chocolate, margarine, peanut butter, sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl. Next, use a blender to whip tofu and then add to wet ingredients. Combine coconut milk and vinegar and add to the wet ingredients.
4. Dry ingredients: Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, and salt. Gradually stir the flour mixture into the chocolate mixture until blended. Then add the chocolate chips (you don’t want to forget those!)
5. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared baking dish.
6. Bake in heated oven about 35 to 45 minutes
7. Remove, and cool before cutting. (It’s so hard to wait, but it’s worth it)
8. Top with marshmallows, nuts, and drizzle with chocolate syrup.

I used to be rather ambivalent about squirrels. Until I moved into this house. You see, I’ve always wanted a house with lots of trees…and that’s what I got. Counting the coniferous evergreens lining our fence in the back, we have around 30 of them: elm, honey locust, evergreens, and sugar gum trees. And one, 50-year old oak. (That’s the one that draws those little critters in.)

I’m sure you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal with squirrels and trees?” Now I’ll let you in on the problem. We have some trees that really matter to me: namely fruit trees.

Look at these succulent peaches in the making.

They look like little court jesters with jeweled collars. Do you see the fuzz forming on those little babies?

When I moved into this house I dusted off my copy of Martha Stewart’s Gardening: Month-by-Month. I bought this book long before I had a house with fruit trees and room for a garden, but I dreamed of the day when that would happen. What do they say? Watch what you wish for. (Who are “they” anyway?)

I’ve got the house that has it all. Peach trees. Pear trees.

Do you see those two baby pears? Simply divine!

Peach Trees. Pear Trees. Plumb Trees. It’s like a little slice of heaven – what more could I ask for?

When I first moved into this house they told me this was an apple tree and I dreamed of the apple pies I would make. The trees hadn’t been cared for in quite some time, so after a day of pruning with Martha (Her book gives directions on how to prune various kinds of trees), I went to bed. And I woke up startled in the middle of the night with the word “Aplomb” on my mind. At 3 in the morning I couldn’t even remember what that word meant so I looked it up. To paraphrase, aplomb means having confidence in the face of uncertainty. My life had its fair share of uncertainty and I liked the idea of Providence reminding me at 3 in the morning to face these uncertain times with confidence!

It wasn’t long after that I started taking a closer look at this curious “apple” tree. The fruit it was bearing didn’t really look much like apples. And then one day I realized it was actually a plum tree. Divine providence wasn’t given me encouragement; my subconscious green-thumb gardener was trying to tell me that this tree was “A Plumb” tree! A plum. Aplomb. It all sounds very similar.

I could tell you more about my yard, but I have to stop here for now. It’s all my heart can take. Because I took these pictures of our fruit trees just last week. These precious little fruit buds will turn into larger fruit soon. But we won’t be eating any of them. That’s right. The squirrels get them ALL! They begin their attack before the fruit is even ripe. They tear the fruit from the tree, take one bite and throw them to the ground. Every single one of them! Each year I’ve tried different approaches to saving the fruit, but each attempt has been in vain. Last year we even wrapped some of the fruit in bird netting.

Squirrels don’t have opposable thumbs, but they’re definitely dexterous and tenacious; and they’ve got time on hand to squirrel away. A wicked combination. The bird netting slowed them down an hour or two, but they eventually worked their way through each peach, plumb, and pear in the yard. It’s maddening!

I have more to write on these evil little critters. I could tell how they dig up my freshly planted flowers, eat my tomatoes, and destroy my hopes for a Martha Stewart gardening kind of life.

My name is Marly. I am a vegan. I love animals. I hate squirrels. There I said it. Is there any help for me?

But it really isn’t all that bad. I had someone ask me once why a lot of vegan recipes mimic recipes from the more traditional American diet. My answer? Well, it’s simply because we can.

And most of us vegans grew up eating the standard American diet, so we enjoy recreating those recipes from our childhood. We get all the enjoyment of these comfort foods without the guilt!

We found this recipe for Eggless Egg Salad in the book, How it all Vegan! by Tanya Barnard and Sarah Kramer. We, of course, adapted it for our own tastes and it resulted in the recipe below.

The main ingredient is tofu. You might be thinking that you wouldn’t be able to do that, but just hang with me here a minute. It’s really not that bad. The beautiful thing about tofu is that it takes on the flavor of the things around it. In this recipe, the tofu is replacing the egg and the final product is a sandwich that is quite reminiscent of egg salad sandwiches…without the gas! (Uh-oh. Maybe that was just a personal problem). I know you can take beano to help, but this recipe avoids the need for that!

Eggless Egg Salad Sandwich

1 ½ lbs. extra firm tofu, drained & mashed
½ cup Vegennaise (non-dairy mayonnaise)
½ cup chopped fresh parsley
6 scallions, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoons garlic powder
1 ½ teaspoons salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon thyme
1 ½ Tbsp. prepared mustard

The best way to drain the tofu is to take it out of the container and cover both the top and bottom of the tofu with a clean absorbent towel (a dish towel works fine or you can use paper towels too). Press on the top of the tofu or set something heavy to help speed up the process of removing the excess liquid. (This is a lot easier than boiling eggs if you ask me!) I’ll do another post on how to press tofu and will include some pictures.

Then use your hands to crumble the tofu into small bits. Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and then chill before serving to let the seasonings settle in. Wow, can it be any more simple than this?

This is Jack. We think he is some type of spaniel mix.

He has boundless energy.

My sister dubbed him a love-sponge. As much loving as you’re willing to dish out, he’s happy to soak up. And look at that picture — he’s clearly not ashamed to beg for more.

I like to describe him as half spaniel and half crazy. Truth is, it took me awhile to warm up to him because he can be such a pain. He doesn’t look like he would be a PITA (Pain in the ass), does he? Don’t let his hypnotic love-gaze fool you. He is.

The first round of evidence against him is that Jack is an escape artist…of an extreme variety. We think that might be how he ended up in the dog shelter in the first place. We can’t let him in the backyard without a leash because he can jump our 4-foot fence…like a gazelle. We’ve lost count of the number of times he’s found ways to dash through doors, gates, or whatever. And once he’s out, there’s no catching him, although we run frantically after him. He’s trained us quite well and as a result, we haven’t had an escape in over a year.

He’s also got a death wish. He once ate an entire plate full of my best vegan chocolate-covered peanut butter balls. That particular death-wish was two-fold because he had to deal with my fury (do you know how much work it is to make peanut butter balls?) and chocolate can be a fatal food for dogs. Not to worry. I might have been miffed, but I would never hurt him (do you think he knew that?). And it was a miserable night for us all but Jack got all of that chocolate out of his system in one form or another (if you catch the smelly drift).

He is a hassle, that Jack. But there is something charming about him. He is for sure the first dog that I felt would protect me. That’s because most of the time he’s fearless. He’s brave. He’s even regal!

Except when it comes to thunderstorms. I’ve actually seen him quivering with fear at the sound of a storm in the distance. Oftentimes we won’t even know what he’s upset about because the storm is so far off that we can’t hear it. But his dog-ears can.

And we’re in the midst of thunderstorm season right now. In fact, one crawled through last night. I’ve usually been the one who had to get up early in the morning to head into a highly stressful job. As a result I wasn’t always the most patient person when Jack would come to my side of the bed wimpering in the night. So when Jack came to my bedside last night, I did my usual ignoring him bit.

I’ve heard that’s what you’re supposed to do. Don’t coddle them because you’ll only intensify their reaction. But then it dawned on me – hey, I quit that ridiculously stressful job and I don’t have a day full of meetings tomorrow. I can take the time to help Jack through this tonight. And I did. I stroked the back of his head; scratched his ears. And it helped. He actually ended up forgoing his cushy bed so he could sleep right next to me. Ahh, that felt so good! From time to time he would sit up so I could reassure him some more. And then that was it. The storm was over and he eventually felt secure enough to go back to bed.

He still goes spazzo and barks like a madman at the mailman…or the rabbits…or UPS truck. What is with that UPS truck? The sound of it drives him bonkers! But even with all that craziness, he has nuzzled his way into my heart and now Jack and I are best buds.

Have you ever noticed how many old sayings about animals are so barbaric? And many of these are said as part of every day language. Of course, I’m from the Midwest so some of these might be a little more common in my neck of the woods. Here’s an example:

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

Look away, little Kitty! They don’t mean that about you!

There are more than 80 million cat owners in the US alone. Are we really looking for multiple ways to skin cats?

I won’t stop here, because there’s more. Consider these sayings:

• “Who let the cat out of the bag?”  What I want to know is who is putting cats in a bag in the first place?
• “We need to find a way to kill two birds with one stone.”  Do we really?
• “A bird in the hand is better than two in a bush.” Well, that depends on the perspective. I’m sure the birds in the bush would much rather be right where they are!

Pigs. I remember an older colleague once said, “It’s like shooting pigs in a ditch.” That’s not one you hear every day. Poor pigs. They have it rough. Another old saying about pigs says, “Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.” (I wonder if that’s the one that was shot in the ditch?) I guess pigs have low standards because another one is, “Happy as a pig in slop.”

Dogs. It’s a dog-eat-dog world so I guess that explains why you can call someone a dog which implies that they’re not the best of characters. I’ve also heard, “Don’t beat a dead dog.” That’s nice. It’s not good to kick someone while they’re down. But the most interesting saying I’ve heard recently in the dog category is, “Shoot the dogs and chase the winners.”

I imagine you might be wondering who does this Namely Marly chick hang out with? Have you seen the emails with pictures of Deliverance-type people who shop at Wal-Mart? I might occasionally have encounters with these kinds of folks, but mostly I hear these old sayings in every day conversations when I’m out and about with the average, civilized individual. Honestly!

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “Don’t open that can of worms.” That leads me to ask – who is putting worms in a can? What is the point of that? And don’t you want to open the can to let them out?

There’s a lot of animal sayings about how people eat. Jason eats like a horse. Jenna eats like a pig. But Kristi? She eats like a bird. I just want to make a point here – have you ever seen birds eat? We are constantly filling our birdfeeders. Birds. Eat. A. Lot!

You can also have a frog in your throat (poor frog) or you can gag a maggot. (Um, I have nothing good to say about maggots here, but I think they might be hard to gag.) You can get off your high horse (who is getting these horses high?) or you can be high on the hog.

Interestingly enough, working your way up the food chain is held in high regard, because it’s considered good to have the “heart of a lion.” (Figuratively speaking, that is.) But you’re also  lucky to have a tiger by the tail, or to own a rabbit’s foot (eeekh!).

I will end with a saying about one animal I love to hate. Squirrels. A person can be as “nutty as a squirrel” and I happen to think there’s an element of truth to this because I’ve seen squirrels playing in our back yard. They are really nutty. I will tell you later why I love to hate squirrels. I would never kill a fly (seriously, we have nets and we trap them and set ‘em free), but I have my days where I contemplate what I would do to these squirrels. (Anyone with a garden and an oak tree will know what I mean.) My husband calls me a “speciesist” and I suspect he’s right on that one.

I guess living around so many omnivores, we’re just fish out of water. But that’s ok. We’re as happy as clams! So for now – see you later, alligator!

Henrietta Lacks was born into a poor family and died at the age of 31 in 1951. On the face of it her life could seem unremarkable, but there is more to the story. Henrietta had cervical cancer and as part of her treatment, doctors removed some of the cells from her tumor for research purposes. They did this without her permission which was standard procedure at the time. Something not so standard happened as a result. In fact, something quite unusual happened with Henrietta’s cells that researchers had never seen before. They grew.

Henrietta Lacks was originally named Loretta Pleasant. I wasn’t able to determine why she changed her first name, but she changed her last name when she married David Lacks. The history of his last name indicates that it was originally spelled Lax, but someone in the ancestry decided to change the spelling to Lacks. There is actually an area known as Lacks Town, Virginia where Henrietta is buried in an unmarked grave. Her name may not mark her grave, but it marks one of the most important line of cells in medical research — HeLa cells. Up until that point researchers had a difficult time conducting research on cells that would weaken and die before the experiment could produce results. Henrietta’s HeLa cells launched a new era of medical research allowing researchers for the first time to experiment on cell cultures that continued to reproduce. As a result, HeLa cells have been shipped all around the world to various research labs.

Rebecca Skloot, author of the book The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks,  described Lacks as “a poor Southern tobacco farmer who worked the same land as her slave ancestors, yet her cells—taken without her knowledge—became one of the most important tools in medicine.” Henrietta’s cells have been used to research cures for polio, cancer, AIDS, and much more. Henrietta Lacks has reached a level of immortality through her cells and as a result has impacted a countless number of other people. A legacy of which we all could be proud.

So we decided to take a little family trip to Arizona to visit my husband’s parents who were celebrating their retirement there. The weather was perfect – no humidity, cool breeze, and lots of sunshine. Just what our tired of winter, Midwestern souls needed!

We went for several walks on our stay in Phoenix and I was surprised to see so many lemon trees. And these were not just any ordinary lemon trees. Some of the lemons looked like they were straight out of the Jolly Green Giant’s garden. They were about the size of softballs! The people there were so generous too – giving them out to strangers via baskets by the walking paths. One neighbor even brought over a large grocery bag full of them. Can you imagine having so many lemons growing in your yard that you would hand them out to anyone who would take them? Sounds like a nice problem to have if you ask me! So I returned with as many lemons as I could squeeze (pardon the pun) into my already overstuffed suitcase.

As a result we’ve had lemon cake, lemon poppyseed cookies, lemon-aid, you name it. I must have had lemon on the brain because I was soon drawn to a recipe I found on the Pioneer Woman site called Lemon Squares. They looked delicious and I still had some lemons leftover so I had to give them a try.

The first thing I do when I look at a recipe is try to gauge how difficult it will be to veganize it. I know, “veganize” is not actually a word, but I think it best describes what has to be done – remove any eggs or dairy and replace with a vegan alternative. This recipe definitely looked like it would work.

My only complaint? We ate them all too quickly. Good thing I still have a lemon or two left.

Luscious Vegan Lemon Bars

(Adapted from a recipe by the Pioneer Woman)

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup unbleached flour
• 3/4 cup whole wheat flour (I use whole wheat pastry flour)
• ½ teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 stick (1/2 Cup) margarine, Slightly Softened
• 1 cup brown sugar (lightly Packed)
• 1 cup oatmeal
• vegan sweetened condensed milk (click here for my recipe)
• ½ cup lemon juice (best if from fresh lemons)
• zest of 1 lemon

Preparation Instructions

Turn your oven on to 350. In the meantime, mix margarine and brown sugar until well combined. Stir together flour, salt, and baking powder. Add oats and flour to butter/sugar mixture and mix to combine.

Press half of crumb mixture into the bottom of a 9 x 13 inch cake pan.

Mix together condensed milk, lemon juice, and lemon zest. Spread onto the bottom layer of the crumb mixture. Top with the other half of the crumb mixture, but don’t press.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until golden brown.

Allow pan to sit on counter for 30 minutes after baking. Cut into squares and refrigerate for a couple of hours or until cool.

Serve cool.

Stephen Colbert is reporting on a recently released version of Scrabble that changed its rules to allow proper nouns. If you don’t know anything about the 62-year old game, the Wiki page on Scrabble defines it as “a word game in which two to four players score points by forming words from individual lettered tiles on a game board marked with a 15-by-15 grid.”

There are Scrabble enthusiasts all over the world. In fact, there’s even a World Scrabble Championship. Scrabble is not for the feeble in heart or mind. People serious about the sport, (uh, I mean game) study word lists to stay in peak form so they can merge their jumbled set of letters with ones already on the board to score high points.

People of a certain demographic are usually drawn to the board game. They can be described as the literary elite. They’re like chess players, but with words. Maybe said differently, most avid scrabble players are, well, nerds. And there are more of them than you realize. According to a recent Time Magazine article, Scrabble is in the top 10 of highest grossing iPhone apps. The thing is having strict rules keep the game challenging. That’s why the literary elite (and aspiring nerds) like the game so much. And it’s probably why some are calling this recent change (allowing the use of proper nouns) an idiot rule.

You see, not allowing proper nouns has been an important rule. It keeps people from throwing in words like Izzard (as in Eddie) to rack up points. You could use a word like jack because although it is a name, it also has a definition beyond the name (you know, that thing that you use to lift up the car to change a tire?).

But Hasbro changed all this in a new edition of the game, Scrabble Trickster. The word is, this rule change will be limited to only this special version of the game so hardcore Scrabblers can take a deep sigh of relief. However, I do like Stephen Colbert’s new middle name, Qxyzzy. That’s a real point getter!

I stumbled upon information about this party and I have only a few days left to celebrate in the fun! This is not your typical party, either. This 2010 Ultimate Blog Party is virtual. I think this might be my favorite kind because I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to wear!

So, what do you do at a party? Well, I always carry a drink in my hand and fiddle nervously with the napkin. But this is a virtual party so no nerves required! But I do think I’ll have that drink. I found a recipe recently for Vegan Bailey’s…I think I HAVE to have that (do you blame me?). You can have one too — the recipe is below along with a mention of the website where I found it. So, here’s what I imagine our virtual discussion would be like:

You: So, you’re vegan?

Marly: Yep. I’ve been vegetarian for about 13 years and vegan for about 3.

You: I hope you don’t mind, but I’m just curious. Why are you vegan?

Marly: Don’t feel bad. Everyone asks that question. I am vegan (and my husband and daughter are too) because we love animals, we feel it is better for the environment, and we also enjoy the health benefits as well.

You: (With quizzical look on face) I mean, I hate to sound stupid about this, but what exactly do vegans eat?

Marly: (Tossing head back with laughter) That’s another common question. We have a lot of great food choices (Check out the Namely Food section of my site where I’ve got some great vegan recipes. I know, I know, mostly desserts. We have quite the sweet tooth) What we don’t eat is meat, eggs, milk or cheese.

You: (Joining in the laughter) I don’t know if I could ever do that. I think I would starve or something. What was the hardest thing to give up?

Marly: A good 90% of that was very easy for me to give up. The hardest part was mozzarella and milk chocolate. But once I made the final plunge and gave it up for good, I don’t miss it at all.

You: Tell me something else about you. What other things interest you?

Marly: Well, thanks for asking. My big passion is names. I LOVE names! Even the more common names. Did you know there are over 4 million people with the name Jim? It’s true. Did you know that the name you give your daughter could influence her career? Also, I bet you didn’t know that there is a real man with the name John Doe. Yep. It’s true. Oh, and did you know that people named Dennis have a greater tendency to become dentists? It’s because your name really DOES impact your life. I could go on here, but now’s my chance to learn a little bit about you.

Tell me about yourself. What I’d really like to know is what’s your name? Do you like your name? Any interesting stories about how you got this name? Looking forward to meeting you!

Vegan Bailey’s Irish Cream

Source: VegWeb.com

3/4 cup whiskey
1 pint Silk Hazelnut Creamer
3 tablespoons dark chocolate syrup
Directions:
Put all ingredients together and shake to mix. That’s it!

Serves: 4

What Should You Call Your Doctor? Dr. Valinoti references her own observations that more and more patients refer to her by her first name. I wonder if this is the same trend that causes patients to “friend” their doctors on Facebook? As it turns out this is more than just an etiquette issue. Some doctors are turning to Facebook as a source of communication with patients. CNN ran a story on this topic featuring NBA pro Walter Jordan. Jordan is now retired from the Cleveland Cavaliers but he commented how when he was a professional basketball player he had a physician on-call and available to him at nearly every hour of the day. He said befriending his cardiologist on Facebook gave him back that more intimate doctor-patient relationship. “When I played with the NBA, I was blessed with the best medical care at my disposal. To have this relationship again, as a common citizen, is a great feeling — even though this time it’s via technology.”

The article also quotes a patient, Kirk Sullivan, who said “Our doctor put up videos of his two toddlers dancing on his Facebook page. It totally cracked us up. It sort of brings bedside manner to cyberspace.” Who knows? Maybe breaking down the formality of the doctor-patient relationship – including names – has some benefits.

What Should Your Doctor Call You? A recent study in the British Medical Journal concluded that patients under the age of 65 preferred for their doctor to refer to them by their first name. It only makes sense. Very few people today are referred to by their last name. Can you think of the last time someone referred to you as Mr. or Ms. [fill in your last name here]? With that in mind, I can’t imagine the need for my family physician to act differently. If anything I think it makes the whole experience more personal. There is a bigger emphasis on patient-centered care (as opposed to physician-centric care) and with that emphasis should be knowing the patient and their preference on what they want to be called.

Come to find out, physicians are only human, just like the rest of us. Sure they’ve gone through over a decade of rigorous study and training which allots them quite a bit of respect in my book. However, maybe referring to physicians by their first name is some sort of gentle reminder to both patient and physician. A reminder that the patient steps into the exam room not as a subservient victim, but as an equal participant. If as a patient you have a hard time believing this, realize that the physician may be an expert at diagnosing and managing diseases, but you are an expert in you. It takes both of you to make a successful health care outcome.

What’s your take on this? Do you call your physician by first or last names? How do you want them to refer to you?

Now people like Tony Haryn, columnist for North Jersey, can put aside his animosity for his name, and try out a new one for a day. In a recent article Mr. Haryn commented how he’s never liked his name but hasn’t felt comfortable actually changing it either.

There are more people who fall into this name-loathing category than we realize. It’s a similar theme that’s behind the whole Starbucks Name Game as well. You know, where people go to Starbucks and give the barista a name other than their own? It’s a chance to have a different name – even if only for a few minutes.

However, most people who don’t like their name fear the social ramifications or the legal hassles of actually changing it. I think there are advantages to overcoming these fears; it adds a sense of bravado and courage to your life. I mean, that’s what the word “courage” means—the ability to do something that frightens you.

Well, now’s your chance to throw a dash of courage in your life in a rather painless sort of way. People who want to slip on a different name for awhile, can use this national Name Yourself Day as a great excuse to give something else a try. So tell me, what name will you pick for the day?

Mr. Gossage offered to pay $100,000 and in exchange all Terry Dorsey has to do is change his name to TexasMotorSpeedway.com. Sounds like a deal, eh? But then again, there is that tattoo thing. You see, Dorsey only has to change his name for one year, but he has to get a permanent TMS tattoo. Ouch! To make matters worse, Dorsey only has 24 hours to make up his mind.

Have you ever seen those people standing by the side of the road holding signs for local businesses? Some dressed like the statue of liberty, others dressed in monkey suits or wearing signs. They’re basically human billboards. If you think about it, that is what Terry Dorsey would be if he decides to accept this proposal. For one year of his life he will be the billboard for TMS, and depending on where he gets that tattoo, his TMS branding might be a little more permanent than that.

This is what Mr. Dorsey had to say, “Changing my name to TexasMotorSpeedway.com for a year seems absurd, but the offer of $100,000 is also a bit out there. I’m going to discuss it with my wife and I’ll announce my decision Wednesday at 8:00 on 96.3 KSCS.”

The thing is, Dorsey makes an impressive billboard. Gossage himself admits that The Dorsey Gang (that’s what they call their morning radio show) reaches the fourth largest media market in the country. I wonder if they would have to be called the TexasMotorSpeedway Gang? When you really think about it, $100,000 seems like quite the deal for Gossage. Hmm, maybe Dorsey should ask for more.

You can follow some of the discussion about this on The Dorsey Gang Twitter page.

What do you think? Should Mr. Dorsey do it? Would $100,000 be enough for you to consider changing your name?